Grace 'n Grounds

Encouragement Grounded in His Truth

Encouragement grounded in Scripture
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  • What Example Are You?

    And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized. Then those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us. Titus 2:7-8

    Family game night. It’s a family bonding time that can be a pain for one, because he just wants to play Xbox, but secretly…deep down we may still love the fact that our teenage daughter begs us to still indulge. Surely it’s her desire to come out on top. Maybe it’s her desire to search for the coolest or silliest game in the store (though mom enjoys this, too). But family game night is never without laughs, debates, and some surprises.

    There are quite a few interesting games out there, and our latest one has been one called “Hot Seat.” The person in the “Hot Seat” is the lucky one who picks a random card with a category or scenario listed, and everyone including the one in the “Hot Seat” must choose what the player would say.

    Recently one of my cards was “what would my tombstone say?” or something like that. Kind of morbid. Answers rolled in like “Here lies a coffee lover,” until some were more like “something about Jesus…something about the Bible.”

    Which got me to thinking about example. What the people around us see in us. What impact and impressions our daily interactions leave.

    What are people going to say about us? Will it leave them shamed? Or justified?

    In the second chapter of Titus, Paul writes to the elders of the church, not specifically to pastors; but to those considered to be of an older generation. He encourages them to be mentors to those who are younger and coming to faith. An example of champions of Christ and his character-living it out in their daily lives and interactions.

    We don’t have to be elders, pastors, teachers, leaders to uphold this as our standard of living. It should be our highest calling as believers and followers of the Son of Man. As parents. As grandparents. As citizens within our communities. As walking, talking, representatives of his likeness in our neighborhoods, grocery stores, workplaces, and pews.

    If someone were to place you in the “Hot Seat,” and then have to answer the question, “What would be on this person’s’ tombstone?” What would they say? Would the card say something about Jesus, or something about coffee? Would it shame you? Or would they be justified?

    If your living example is the example of Christ-like character. Integrity. Actions that match your words. Honesty. Love. Gentleness in speech, even when truth must be spoken; and patience, then your example is one that probably has impact that has reached farther and wider than you can imagine. Someone may have said something sideways, and your character has spoken words that has put them to shame.

    However, if you speak eloquent words, but do otherwise. Deal in ways that are contrary to the words of Christ. Hold on to bitterness, or speak falsely about your neighbor, the words spoken may just be justified. It may be a good idea to check-in with one of those elders Paul spoke of in Titus 2, and have someone hold you accountable. Not to judge you, but to help move you towards the path of integrity, honesty and the Christ-like character we are called to demonstrate as an example to others.

    I’ve looked to “elders” for support, for reflection, for growth. We all need this. And I’ll testify that it makes all the difference in being one whose witness leaves an example of the person I realize I was, and the person I am becoming and continue to strive to be.

    Which example are you?

  • Known by Your Fruit

    The Fruit of the Spirit’s not a coconut
    The Fruit of the Spirit’s not a coconut
    If you want to be a coconut
    You might as well hear it:
    You can’t be a fruit of the Spirit

    Cause the fruit is
    Love, joy, peace, patience
    Kindness, goodness, faithfulness
    Gentleness and self-control
    Love, joy, peace, patience
    Kindness, goodness, faithfulness
    Gentleness and self-control

    This is how my kids, and probably any other kid who has grown up attending church camp has learned how to memorize the fruits of the spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22. Not a coconut. Not a banana. Not a cherry. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Say them as fast as you can. With no room for breathing.

    Don’t worry. I can’t do that either. I actually usually have to look them up. Or my kids remind me they are not a coconut…and proceed to sing me that song. But, you know…however they remember is alright by me.

    Coconuts. Bananas. Cherries. Fruits. Yes. Sweet like kindness. Gentleness. Patience. Until they rot, and then we don’t think of them in quite the same way. And I can guarantee we have encountered some rotten fruit.

    In our fruit drawers at home, we can usually detect the rotten culprits right away. They are the lemons or the oranges that are a tad bit green. They are slightly moldy, growing an unsightly fungus that we must remove before we taint any others. Before that fungus spreads. 

    But what we don’t often see. What often do is pick up a perfectly good fruit, bite into and find it rotten on the inside. Pretty stinkin’ disgusting. The fruit looked good. What happened? Well as settings go, our fridge environment wasn’t quite right. And if we kept that pretty green apple around that moldy lemon for longer than we intended, well…the inside became rotten, while the outside still looked good.

    It can be that that way with us at times. We can hang out with fruit that may not be spirit-filled. We may look really good on the outside. But on the inside-we aren’t filled with those things he intended. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The gunk that has been left to linger around us-the coconuts, the bananas, the moldy lemons and oranges…they start to rub off on us. Not on the outside, maybe. But they start to impact our hearts. And the goodness, it isn’t so ripe anymore. God takes a look on the inside, and he starts to see parts that are not a reflection of ripe fruit.

    Jesus speaks of this in Matthew 7:15-20, and it can be a pretty harsh, yet very honest and truthful teaching when thinking about our witness and our character as believers:

    “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistle? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”

    In other words here, Jesus is letting his disciples know, as believers who are filled with his Spirit we cannot profess to know him, to be filled with his love, and show hatred to our neighbor. We cannot profess to be filled with kindness, and then become irate when something is demanded of us. We cannot profess to be filled with joy, and grumble through our days. We cannot claim to be an apple tree, and produce coconuts.

    You will be known by your fruit. May it be sweet, and not one to be turned away from, or thrown out because it has grown rotten, and is in danger of infecting the others. May it be the ripest fruit. Known for love, kindness, patience. Known by all as an example of Christ.

  • In Your Anger

    I love to read the Psalms. Yes, they are poetic. Beautiful. Full of emotion. But I also love to read them, because I find that David was all up in his feelings at times as much as I find myself most of the time.

    Case in point:

    Arise, O Lord!
        Rescue me, my God!
    Slap all my enemies in the face!
        Shatter the teeth of the wicked! Psalm 3:7

    Why do I resonate with this? Because I realize many of you may not operate this way. Your natural response may be to freeze and do nothing, and run away from people. My reaction to injustice or hurt is to fight. It always has been.

    I was always sassy. Have been since a little girl. I spoke up. I was loud. If something was sideways or not right…I pointed it out. And if I wasn’t heard, I may have likely punched things. I tried not to punch people, so I was the girl who kicked and punched holes in walls. Nothing was off limits. Brick walls, car windows.

    I know what it feels like to feel so stinking mad, like things were so unfair… you want to punch something. I’m a bit tamer now. Still sassy, but I don’t punch holes in things. No. I hold onto anger. Until it eats me up inside.

    Like David, who yes…wrote some beautiful Psalms, I can get blazing mad. And let’s just be real-when we are mad, or someone has hurt us, what do we often want? Revenge. And maybe a good punch in the teeth may feel like that to us. May feel like a bit of justice, but it isn’t what God has in mind.

    Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19, NLT

    He has something more like that in mind. Less like punching people in the teeth. Less like punching out hurtful words on an email, social media post, or text.

    Sure, we may all want to do these things, but they don’t show Christ in our moments of anger. We may all want to give someone a piece of our mind. Put them in their place. Have the last word, and tell them all about themselves, but it does nothing but tell them about ourselves when we start doing anything that reflects the opposite character of Christ in these heated moments.

    If I really did punch someone in the teeth, who would see Christ in me? Even if they did deserve it? If I tapped out what I really wanted to say back in a text; what I really thought of their character in that moment, would they see Christ in those crafted out messages? Probably not. Surely their friends would get the screen shot, though, So my response must be one to reflect the Savior I profess to follow.

    Yes, I want to in the moment say what I really feel. I want to speak my angry words. And tell people what I think of them in the moment when they have hurt me.

    What I am called to as a child of God is stop. Think about what I am about to say. Let the other person finish speaking. Because let’s be honest, we don’t really listen. We listen to speak. We listen to answer. We don’t fully listen before we jump in with a response. And decide if what they said even needs to be responded to right away, or at all.

    And if it does needs to be responded to, do so when you are not angry. Because anger can cause you to respond in ways you normally would not if you are calm. Remember our opener and David? Let’s respond after you have sorted through all your punching in the teeth feelings.

    Scripture is clear that anger is OK. Anger is an emotion that God has given us to spur us to action. To help us to recognize and take action against injustice, but it can cross the line towards sin if we use it as a way to justify our words and hurtful actions towards others in conflict and daily interactions. In fact, Ephesians 4:26 warns “not to sin in your anger.” So, it’s likely we will come across things that will make us angry, but how will we deal with them? Like Christ, or like the world?

    It’s time to listen more than we speak. To start holding our tongue a bit, or tapping it on the back of our teeth, if we feel like desire to punch someone in their’s. It’s time to decide if we need to respond and be a part of every debate. Are there some conflicts we can sit out? It may even be time to stop texting and simply picking up the phone and calling. Or if we have been hurt, maybe tap out the response you would really like to give, the one that would make you feel good, the one with ALL the things you want to say-then delete that whole paragraph, and send a Christ-like response instead, and then simply move on.

    Because this is what God would want-more listening, less speaking, and whole lot less sinful anger.

  • The Golden Rule

    The Golden Rule. Do you remember the first time you heard it? Maybe it was spoken by a parent as you were picking at a sibling. Maybe a teacher as they were listing the classroom rules. Maybe somewhere along the way you just heard it. Believed it to be a long-standing societal rule: “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.”

    The Golden Rule. You know it now, right? But where did it come from? Your parents? That teacher? The government?

    Luke 6:31. It was spoken by Jesus to his disciples along with some other commands.

    Jesus’ call to “do unto others as you would like them to do you,” was a call to treat each other with the same kind of love and respect we would in fact treat ourselves, but also spoke to the way we treat those who may not treat us with kindness.

    “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.” Luke 6:32-35,NLT

    I encourage you to go back and read these verses replacing “sinner” with the words “the world,” since we are encouraged to be different from “the world.”

    Not expecting we are to be treated as the elite, but we treat others as if they are, expecting nothing in return. Putting out the kindness, compassion, and love we want to see in the world, because we have a duty as believers in Christ to be His reflection of those things in it. And showing it not just to those who love Him, or who we love; but who don’t know Him and who could not care less about us. So that they know His love, and see it reflected in us in a world that shows anything but.

    That is the Golden Rule. Lived out. In us. Through us. To others. Daily.

    How can you be a reflection of it today?

  • To The Young: You Have Influence, Too

    Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. 1 Timothy 4:12, NLT

    Today’s post on Christian character is for the younger folk. Those growing up and learning how to navigate the nuances and social expectations of the world. It can be difficult to walk the thin line between what the world expects, and what your faith demands. These things are in constant conflict, and we, as parents, just don’t often know what this is like.

    We, of course, know what it is like to be teens. It is hard. We have all walked the line between the expectations of the world, those of our elders, our own, and what we know to be right, or even wrong. We just didn’t have the internet, or phones at our fingertips to document our every move. If we had bullies, we could retreat to safety at home, and leave our bullies at school. Turn them off until the school bell rang the next day. And if we took a picture or someone did find something out about us, we didn’t have a tribe of people calling for us to be “canceled,” or jumping in on the smear campaign because it was the “cool” thing to do. Things really were just “different.”

    I talked about integrity yesterday, and it doesn’t just apply to adults. It’s the same concept no matter your age. Are you who you say you are at home, and out in the world? At church and with your friends? Do you show Christ everywhere, or just at church?

    You may be young. You may be influenced by social media. You may even be triggered by the mixed messages from the things you see from it’s sources, or the people you follow. Feel you don’t measure up.

    However, you still have an influence on the world around you of which you may not be aware. Especially when you let others know you believe in Christ. There will be expectations of you. Yes, even when you are young. Even on your social media profiles, and no…it won’t feel “fair.” It will likely feel like it’s one more expectation someone has of you of which you will never measure up, but it is the most important expectation. It is the one God has of you.

    He does not expect you to be without a few mishaps. A few blemishes. A few bruises. What He does expect of you is to put aside the world’s expectations. What Facebook. Instagram. TikTok think for a bit, and worry about what He thinks. Walk in the way He expects. And remain honest and true to His ways. A person. A young man or woman of integrity.

    No matter how young (or old) you are.

About Me

I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.

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