Hello, I’m January
Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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Masks of Deception
We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don’t maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don’t twist God’s Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God. 2 Cor 4:2 MSG
I have spoken about this before here: My youngest has never understood the concept of Halloween. Even in our desire for him to indulge in the holiday festivities; he simply refused to put on a costume. If there was a time he dressed up, he had to be as close to a character he recognized, and would not dare wear a mask. Many years he simply went to events as “Hunter.” His philosophy being-he had no pressing reason to be anything other than himself. Wouldn’t he be given candy anyway? Why “trick” others into giving it him?
From an autistic lens, I began to see his point.
The world has sold us a big fat lie: You must present yourself to it as someone other than who God intends you to be in order to get your needs met.
It’s why we deceive the aging process with fillers, Botox, filters, and injections. Tricking others into believing we are younger than we are, smoother, or that our forehead wrinkles don’t exist.
It’s why we post our “highlights.” So we can trick people into thinking we are happier, have more money, our marriages aren’t crumbling, and our kids aren’t making poor choices.
It’s why we don’t discuss our struggles with other people.
It’s why we wear our masks on every other day after October 31st. These masks may not be the scary ones like evil, murder, robbery, or any other punishable crime. No, these masks look more like skimming time from your co-worker while you post all about your crummy job on Facebook. It’s the hurtful words you say about a friend as soon as she leaves the table to go home. It’s the ways in which you don’t support another person’s success, because they are doing what you wish you were. It’s that plastic smile you paint on, when you feel like crying. It’s that word “fine,” you speak when you are anything but.
Those are our masks. And we don’t need a holiday like Halloween to wear them and to deceive everyone around us. We put them on most everyday. And expect people to hand us what we want.
We deceive others this way. We deceive others into believing that believers have it all together. That we don’t struggle. Our painted on “smiley” masks that hide our struggles can deceive the hurting seeker into believing they have to be perfect before they can have Christ. And on another note, when we paint on goodness, and hide poor behaviors such as gossip or malice, we let others know that maybe Christ isn’t so attractive after all.
Maybe our youngest had a point. Can’t we have Christ anyway by coming to him as ourselves? Can’t we be in communion and fellowship with each other without a mask? Without pretending we are someone else for the day?
Try it. Drop your faulty expectations that you have to have it all together, and come as you are. As God intended you to be. Drop the mask the world expects. That plastic smile, those expectations and disappointments you hide behind, and simply be yourself before others today. Genuine. Honest. Truthful. No deception underneath. Nothing but who He intended.
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Think On and Do These Things
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9
Thoughts. Our thoughts become our voice, and often our patterns of behavior. What we think about ourself and even others, can be outwardly reflected in the way we respond with or without love.
The verses above are often referenced at times as a prescription for anxiety, as they can be; they are also a prescription for the stance we must take against those things that we may encounter or consume that are not trustworthy, honorable or worthy of praise.
Garbage in, garbage out.
First, let’s talk about our thoughts. Let’s simplify this as it applies to Paul’s instructions and our character. Our thoughts and perspectives about particular situations, especially as they apply to others. Because this verse can certainly apply here. When we encounter a person with whom we share a difference of opinion, or even someone with whom we don’t connect, don’t understand, or maybe we even have some sort of conflict with them personally, or with something they may be doing-we do a couple things. We form thoughts and opinions about their character, their actions, and their intentions. We often believe based on our thoughts, our own perspectives, our own version of events that said person may be driven by malice. May be aloof. Not like us. We have our own thoughts about their intended motives because we don’t truly support their mission. For whatever reason we have decided they should not be successful, and we look for anything but admirable qualities to prove it. And if you look for those qualities you will find them, even in the smallest, most ridiculous of things.
What would happen if we did what Paul asked us to do? If we changed those negative, fault-seeking thoughts and began to look for good? Intentionally? In people? And in situations that made us feel frustration? What if we looked for the truth about a person instead of believing whatever so and so told us about them? If we focused on the admirable accomplishments of others, and applauding them instead of sitting in our envy and jealousy tearing down those who dare to brave and step out into boldness for God? What if we talked more about things that were worthy of praise, and less about things that tear others down? Would our thoughts be fixed on Christ, and less on the flaws of others?
Next, Paul is not only speaking of our speech or the way we see people here-he tells us to put what he says into practice. Remember, I mentioned garbage in, garbage out. So that means whatever you take in, your output will be the same. So if you take in good, your actions will be good. If you practice kindness, your actions will be kind; and if you practice deception, then your actions will be the same-deceitful.
If we are filling our minds with junk. If we are consistently surrounding by the influences of evil desires, and things that turn us away from a pure and holy God, eventually our actions will begin to look like the thing that is filling our minds. This is why Paul warned us where to fix our thoughts-on what honors Him. Those things that are going to reflect Christ within you and keep you focused on Him.
The One that provides peace and can be a light to someone who will see it shining in you.
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What Example Are You?
And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized. Then those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us. Titus 2:7-8
Family game night. It’s a family bonding time that can be a pain for one, because he just wants to play Xbox, but secretly…deep down we may still love the fact that our teenage daughter begs us to still indulge. Surely it’s her desire to come out on top. Maybe it’s her desire to search for the coolest or silliest game in the store (though mom enjoys this, too). But family game night is never without laughs, debates, and some surprises.
There are quite a few interesting games out there, and our latest one has been one called “Hot Seat.” The person in the “Hot Seat” is the lucky one who picks a random card with a category or scenario listed, and everyone including the one in the “Hot Seat” must choose what the player would say.
Recently one of my cards was “what would my tombstone say?” or something like that. Kind of morbid. Answers rolled in like “Here lies a coffee lover,” until some were more like “something about Jesus…something about the Bible.”
Which got me to thinking about example. What the people around us see in us. What impact and impressions our daily interactions leave.
What are people going to say about us? Will it leave them shamed? Or justified?
In the second chapter of Titus, Paul writes to the elders of the church, not specifically to pastors; but to those considered to be of an older generation. He encourages them to be mentors to those who are younger and coming to faith. An example of champions of Christ and his character-living it out in their daily lives and interactions.
We don’t have to be elders, pastors, teachers, leaders to uphold this as our standard of living. It should be our highest calling as believers and followers of the Son of Man. As parents. As grandparents. As citizens within our communities. As walking, talking, representatives of his likeness in our neighborhoods, grocery stores, workplaces, and pews.
If someone were to place you in the “Hot Seat,” and then have to answer the question, “What would be on this person’s’ tombstone?” What would they say? Would the card say something about Jesus, or something about coffee? Would it shame you? Or would they be justified?
If your living example is the example of Christ-like character. Integrity. Actions that match your words. Honesty. Love. Gentleness in speech, even when truth must be spoken; and patience, then your example is one that probably has impact that has reached farther and wider than you can imagine. Someone may have said something sideways, and your character has spoken words that has put them to shame.
However, if you speak eloquent words, but do otherwise. Deal in ways that are contrary to the words of Christ. Hold on to bitterness, or speak falsely about your neighbor, the words spoken may just be justified. It may be a good idea to check-in with one of those elders Paul spoke of in Titus 2, and have someone hold you accountable. Not to judge you, but to help move you towards the path of integrity, honesty and the Christ-like character we are called to demonstrate as an example to others.
I’ve looked to “elders” for support, for reflection, for growth. We all need this. And I’ll testify that it makes all the difference in being one whose witness leaves an example of the person I realize I was, and the person I am becoming and continue to strive to be.
Which example are you?
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Known by Your Fruit
The Fruit of the Spirit’s not a coconut
The Fruit of the Spirit’s not a coconut
If you want to be a coconut
You might as well hear it:
You can’t be a fruit of the SpiritCause the fruit is
Love, joy, peace, patience
Kindness, goodness, faithfulness
Gentleness and self-control
Love, joy, peace, patience
Kindness, goodness, faithfulness
Gentleness and self-controlThis is how my kids, and probably any other kid who has grown up attending church camp has learned how to memorize the fruits of the spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22. Not a coconut. Not a banana. Not a cherry. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Say them as fast as you can. With no room for breathing.
Don’t worry. I can’t do that either. I actually usually have to look them up. Or my kids remind me they are not a coconut…and proceed to sing me that song. But, you know…however they remember is alright by me.
Coconuts. Bananas. Cherries. Fruits. Yes. Sweet like kindness. Gentleness. Patience. Until they rot, and then we don’t think of them in quite the same way. And I can guarantee we have encountered some rotten fruit.
In our fruit drawers at home, we can usually detect the rotten culprits right away. They are the lemons or the oranges that are a tad bit green. They are slightly moldy, growing an unsightly fungus that we must remove before we taint any others. Before that fungus spreads.
But what we don’t often see. What often do is pick up a perfectly good fruit, bite into and find it rotten on the inside. Pretty stinkin’ disgusting. The fruit looked good. What happened? Well as settings go, our fridge environment wasn’t quite right. And if we kept that pretty green apple around that moldy lemon for longer than we intended, well…the inside became rotten, while the outside still looked good.
It can be that that way with us at times. We can hang out with fruit that may not be spirit-filled. We may look really good on the outside. But on the inside-we aren’t filled with those things he intended. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The gunk that has been left to linger around us-the coconuts, the bananas, the moldy lemons and oranges…they start to rub off on us. Not on the outside, maybe. But they start to impact our hearts. And the goodness, it isn’t so ripe anymore. God takes a look on the inside, and he starts to see parts that are not a reflection of ripe fruit.
Jesus speaks of this in Matthew 7:15-20, and it can be a pretty harsh, yet very honest and truthful teaching when thinking about our witness and our character as believers:
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistle? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”
In other words here, Jesus is letting his disciples know, as believers who are filled with his Spirit we cannot profess to know him, to be filled with his love, and show hatred to our neighbor. We cannot profess to be filled with kindness, and then become irate when something is demanded of us. We cannot profess to be filled with joy, and grumble through our days. We cannot claim to be an apple tree, and produce coconuts.
You will be known by your fruit. May it be sweet, and not one to be turned away from, or thrown out because it has grown rotten, and is in danger of infecting the others. May it be the ripest fruit. Known for love, kindness, patience. Known by all as an example of Christ.
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In Your Anger
I love to read the Psalms. Yes, they are poetic. Beautiful. Full of emotion. But I also love to read them, because I find that David was all up in his feelings at times as much as I find myself most of the time.
Case in point:
Arise, O Lord!
Rescue me, my God!
Slap all my enemies in the face!
Shatter the teeth of the wicked! Psalm 3:7Why do I resonate with this? Because I realize many of you may not operate this way. Your natural response may be to freeze and do nothing, and run away from people. My reaction to injustice or hurt is to fight. It always has been.
I was always sassy. Have been since a little girl. I spoke up. I was loud. If something was sideways or not right…I pointed it out. And if I wasn’t heard, I may have likely punched things. I tried not to punch people, so I was the girl who kicked and punched holes in walls. Nothing was off limits. Brick walls, car windows.
I know what it feels like to feel so stinking mad, like things were so unfair… you want to punch something. I’m a bit tamer now. Still sassy, but I don’t punch holes in things. No. I hold onto anger. Until it eats me up inside.
Like David, who yes…wrote some beautiful Psalms, I can get blazing mad. And let’s just be real-when we are mad, or someone has hurt us, what do we often want? Revenge. And maybe a good punch in the teeth may feel like that to us. May feel like a bit of justice, but it isn’t what God has in mind.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19, NLT
He has something more like that in mind. Less like punching people in the teeth. Less like punching out hurtful words on an email, social media post, or text.
Sure, we may all want to do these things, but they don’t show Christ in our moments of anger. We may all want to give someone a piece of our mind. Put them in their place. Have the last word, and tell them all about themselves, but it does nothing but tell them about ourselves when we start doing anything that reflects the opposite character of Christ in these heated moments.
If I really did punch someone in the teeth, who would see Christ in me? Even if they did deserve it? If I tapped out what I really wanted to say back in a text; what I really thought of their character in that moment, would they see Christ in those crafted out messages? Probably not. Surely their friends would get the screen shot, though, So my response must be one to reflect the Savior I profess to follow.
Yes, I want to in the moment say what I really feel. I want to speak my angry words. And tell people what I think of them in the moment when they have hurt me.
What I am called to as a child of God is stop. Think about what I am about to say. Let the other person finish speaking. Because let’s be honest, we don’t really listen. We listen to speak. We listen to answer. We don’t fully listen before we jump in with a response. And decide if what they said even needs to be responded to right away, or at all.
And if it does needs to be responded to, do so when you are not angry. Because anger can cause you to respond in ways you normally would not if you are calm. Remember our opener and David? Let’s respond after you have sorted through all your punching in the teeth feelings.
Scripture is clear that anger is OK. Anger is an emotion that God has given us to spur us to action. To help us to recognize and take action against injustice, but it can cross the line towards sin if we use it as a way to justify our words and hurtful actions towards others in conflict and daily interactions. In fact, Ephesians 4:26 warns “not to sin in your anger.” So, it’s likely we will come across things that will make us angry, but how will we deal with them? Like Christ, or like the world?
It’s time to listen more than we speak. To start holding our tongue a bit, or tapping it on the back of our teeth, if we feel like desire to punch someone in their’s. It’s time to decide if we need to respond and be a part of every debate. Are there some conflicts we can sit out? It may even be time to stop texting and simply picking up the phone and calling. Or if we have been hurt, maybe tap out the response you would really like to give, the one that would make you feel good, the one with ALL the things you want to say-then delete that whole paragraph, and send a Christ-like response instead, and then simply move on.
Because this is what God would want-more listening, less speaking, and whole lot less sinful anger.
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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Grace N Grounds 