Hello, I’m January
Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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WWJD: Kindness
Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!
Tie them around your neck as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart. Proverbs 3:3, NLTKindness. What do we often think of when we think of random acts of kindness? Pretty words? Random gifts?
The second portion of 1 Corinthians 13:4 states that LOVE is kind. But think about it…can someone give really good gifts, and speak charming and prettied up words, and not have any loving motive behind them? Of course they can. Paul addresses this in the first three verses of that famous chapter, when he says: If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. 1 Corinthians 13:1,3, MSG
Yes. We can speak beautifully. We can give great gifts. And not be loving, or even very kind.
So then…what is kindness? What does it mean to express kindness in ways that show love to others?
According to Stephen and Alex Kendrick, authors of the book The Love Dare, “Kindness is love in action.” Action. How we SHOW kindness. Yes, it is how we speak, and what we give, but it is more than those things. It is how we make others feel. How we express love to others in what we DO. And it encompasses a number of things that sometimes have nothing to do with the words we say, or the things we can give with our money.
Kindness is also tenderness, which in other words is the care and concern for the welfare of another person. It is sensitivity to their needs. Compassion and warmth. We are not harsh when we speak, even if we have to correct. And let’s be real-kind people do have to correct, but they do so with a soft tone of voice; while speaking the truth.
Kindness is willingness, or goodwill and a desire to serve another to meet their needs, the ones we are sensitive to. It is going out of ones way to provide assistance, even if it may mean we have to put our desires to the side. It is not just giving money or material things, but giving of one’s time and attention.
Kindness moves. It doesn’t sit around and wait for someone to act first. To make the first move. “Well, I will show compassion and take care of his/her needs, when mine are taken care of.” It sees a need, and takes the initiative to meet it, whether that person asks or not. It hears of someone’s strife or heartache, and lends an ear whether that person seeks you out first or not. It gets off the couch and moves towards the hurting. Towards the broken. Towards the suffering. Towards the object of one’s concern and love-not away.
It’s like this story we have probably heard many times, one found in Luke 10:25-27. It’s the story of the Good Samaritan. We know the gist of the story. The headline today would read: “Jewish man harmed in vicious attack, and left for dead.” Two men walked by him. Upstanding men. One a priest, the other an assistant in the temple. Neither stopped to take care of him because it would inconvenience them. Surely thinking, “Oh, poor thing. He’s hurt. Sorry about that. But…it’s really not my concern. Nothing I can really do about it. Moving on with what I got to do today. Don’t really have time for this.”
“Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.” Luke 10: 34-35, NLT
A despised man. Who wasn’t even supposed to talk to a Jew. He was the example of kindness. Tenderness. Willingness. Initiative. Action.
Love.
So now the question is-which one are we? The one not willing to be inconvenienced or bothered with someone else’s trouble; or the one moving to act? To show kindness? To show love?
“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” 1 John 3:18
Let’s not be rusty gates with what we believe are the words people want to hear, then doing the opposite. Lets move in love. Act in love. Show our love.
Remember-“Kindness is love in action,” so as that song mentioned long ago…perhaps it’s time for a little less talk and a lot more action. A lot more love. A lot more kindness.
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Shut the door, and get yo’ praise on
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Psalm 100:4, NLT
I have always enjoyed music, and have been singing in a choir of sorts since I was in 4th grade. My fondest memories have music attached to them. And when I need to shut out the voices in my head-music is my go-to.
Music. It is also how God has pursued me. Did you realize this? That God is always pursuing you? Like someone desperately in love, He sends you messages to let you know He is present. That He is always there. To remind you of Him. To show you His love.
They are often subtle. Not always burning bush moments. Or a booming voice shouting from the heavens.
Sometimes they are songs.
That is how he has always spoken to me. Even before I knew how much He loved me.
I could go on and on about the ways in which He used songs to speak to me before I realized it, but one song I remember specifically is one we sang in my high school choir. One I watched 20 years later as a teen from youth group sang it again at that same high school. I still remember that song.
Shut de do, keep out the devil. Shut de do keep the devil in the night.
Now, there has been some controversy about the original song. The dialect. The “supposed” culture it may have originated from. It’s origin. However, I like to research songs. Why they are written. And I always research lyrics, especially those our teens are singing…I want to know what they are ACTUALLY singing and saying.
Oh, Satan is an evil charmer, (shut the door, keep out the devil)
He’s hungry for a soul to hurt, (shut the door, keep the devil in the night)
And without your holy armour, listen to me, (shut the door, keep out the devil)
He will eat you for dessert, yes, he will. (shut the door, keep the devil in the night) (Source)And if you aren’t convinced by the lyrics, well because of the controversies, then maybe this will convince of you of the devil’s prowess: Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8, NLT
So…He can use music to get the message across that you need to rely on Him. He can use music to help you shut out the faulty messages that the devil keeps pounding in your brain. He can send you music to remind you that you are not alone. He can send you a lyric to calm you. To answer a question you sent Him in a prayer. To remind you of your worth.
He can send a song to save you. To pursue you. So you finally accept Him.
He can speak through songs. It is in fact why musicians continue to write them, Sing them. Praise Him.
Because He can speak through a song.
Maybe you don’t know how to find the right one. Those old hymns don’t speak to your heart. You are an old, school rap child. In need of a sick beat. Not an organ (though He speaks through those, too). I get it. I am, too. So I am here to help Him speak through the music. As the spirit leads me on Monday’s I will share a song He has placed on my heart, and share it with you. May it remind you that you are not alone. May it send a reminder of your worth to Him. May it come to save you, help you accept Him. May it speak to you, and help you keep out the devil with His song.
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You are the pearl
“June? You were born in June? Then why did your parents name you January?”
It is a question I have gotten a lot. I know the answer. Sometimes I take the time to provide it. Other times I don’t.
It has also taken me a number of years to embrace the name myself. To even embrace the person God has shaped me to be. Too many years. Too many hurts. Dark, twisty turns can often lead us to the place where we finally begin to see ourselves in the ways we were meant to be seen all along. It’s eye-opening. It’s liberating. It’s freeing. But it’s a nerve-wracking, heart-wrenching, soul-searching journey.
Sometimes it even means just owning your name. Owning your birthright. Owning the circumstances of your birth, and the suffering, darkness, and grit that have made you who you are.
Which is why I don’t think it’s a coincidence that January is the first month of the year. A month representing new beginnings. That the name January is derived from the name of the Roman god, Janus, who was the god of new beginnings, with two faces-one to look to the future and one to look to the past. I’ve always used my past to start anew. I’ve never been one to sit and sulk when hurt.
And, no I wasn’t born in January, and there is a reason for that, too. Those born in June, especially at the end of the month tend to be caring, empathetic, and kind. They are also forgiving and extremely optimistic, tending to look at the bright side, and seeing the good in most things (source).
However, they can also have a dark side. They are extremely clumsy (true fact, here), and because of their kindness and empathy-can be taken advantage of, and go through periods of suffering. Like their birthstone-the pearl.
I recently heard the following in a sermon: Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. Matthew 7:6, NLT
I thought it harsh, but it had me thinking about pearls. Why did Jesus use the pearl here, and not the diamond, ruby, or another jewel? Why the pearl?
Diamonds are great. They are said to be a girl’s best friend. Given as sign of commitment to the one chosen as a bride. Heavily sought after. Written about in songs. Everyone seems to want diamonds on their necks. Their wrists. A ring on it, and not a pearl ring, a diamond one. So, why is Jesus not talking about those? Diamonds?
“Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!” Matthew 13:45-46, NLT
Again, why not diamonds?
One must understand how pearls are formed to understand why Jesus would choose to use this gem here. To find a pearl, one must search through hundreds of oysters. Why? Because pearls are not formed by chance. Contrary to belief, not every oyster contains a pearl. Pearls form after an irritant or some pesky monster enters the oyster. Some annoyance. To keep the oyster safe and secure. To protect it from harm, a fluid is secreted which eventually forms a rare, natural pearl.
So why pearls? Not diamonds?
Diamonds are a dime a dozen. Cut, fashioned, shaped, molded in the way the world desires. Placed in cases at every jewelry store, and set on any band you desire. There are infinite commercials about the diamond of one’s dreams-from Jared, of course.
Pearls don’t need to be cut, shaped or molded. They have to be searched for through seas and seas of oysters. They are sought after in their natural state. They are valuable because they need no polishing from the world, but are polished by God. They are the true representation of grace under pressure, purity, and integrity. They are protectors. Cased in shells until found in their infinite beauty.
Everything that represents Jesus.
June. I was born in June.
Full of wisdom. Polished in my natural beauty and rarity by my Maker. Pure. Innocent. Loyal. A place of safety in darkness. Valuable.
A pearl of great price.
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WWJD: Patience
Love is patient. 1 Corinthians 13:4
Ever heard this? “Don’t pray for patience. If you do God will give you a reason to be patient.”
Well, if you haven’t, then I don’t suggest you start praying for patience. I do suggest you hang out with kids a bit. The toddler kind. The school-age kind. The teenage kind. The grown folk kind. You will be learning lessons on patience in a hot minute.
But, let’s be real. We could learn some patience in many of life’s situations and relationships.
Case in point. When I think of patience, I think of this example.
She is standing in line. The grocery line. She intended to come in to get only a few things, and ended up with a few more than she could carry. She scurries to the express lane to find that the patron in front is writing a check. Really? A check? Like, who does that anymore? And…do you not realize, hon…they gonna hand that check you are taking oh-so-long to write back to you?
Then it starts. The huffing. The foot-tapping. The eye rolling. The death stare at the check-writing lady. Impatience. Lack of love simply because she is inconvenienced. Because she didn’t pick up a hand basket.
She is me.
Oh, I am not the check-writer. I am sure that lady is sweet as tea.
I am the huffing, impatient, foot-tapper. Supposed to be representing light and love like Jesus. But I am anything but.
Oh, and I know I am not the only one; because I have been in front of the foot tappers. In need of some patience. In need of some love when my kids have been a screaming mess. In need of the light and love of Jesus. So surely, I could have been it that day.
So, how do we exercise this “love is patient” stuff in our homes, communities, jobs…well, everywhere?
Stop. Think. Before we act or speak.
Not easy. No. Not easy at all. But it’s what we are called to do.
James 1:19 instructs us, Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry; and in Proverbs 15:18 we learn what occurs when conflict is the go to strategy: A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
God desires for us to remain calm. To seek peace. To wait.This means that at times we don’t get the last word, or even the first one. That when our teen gives us a snarky response about schoolwork, we listen more and speak less. When we have to wait in that grocery line behind a check-writer…well, we just simply wait; and breathe instead of tapping our foot and rolling our eyes.
That when we have asked our tween to bring the dishes for the fifth time, we take a moment. Take a break, slowly speak it for the 6th time, with a consequence calmly added to the end, and then slowly shut the door behind us. No angry slamming.
We give time. We give space. We give soft, compassionate words, and not ones spoken out of retaliation and anger.
Because this is what Jesus would do.
He would not be huffing and foot-tapping. Slamming doors and yelling about dirty dishes. Creating conflict and raising his voice to demand others listen.
No, he would be providing calm instruction. Recognize that people are human and need time and distance to correct mistakes and make amends. Demonstrating patience, and in turn love.
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The blessing is the payback
Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. 1 Peter 3:9, NLT
Hurt.
We have all experienced it. We have all had people hurt us-whether intentionally or not so. Whether due to circumstances outside of anyone’s control; or actions, words, or deeds that were chosen, and maybe a little “out” of control.
We have all experienced hurt. We have even all been the one at some point in time inflicting the hurt.
Today’s post isn’t about deep hurts-that is a path to healing and forgiveness that takes a little more time. One that can’t be wrapped up neatly in one post, because it is just that hard. I know because I am walking it. Walking it over again for some things through which I thought I had already taken that path many years ago.
However, we can still approach people who have hurt us with the following as Peter instructs in 1 Peter 3:8, being “agreeable, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble, without sharp-tongued sarcasm” (The Message).
But how???
One of the easiest places to get tripped up, and caught up in this need to retaliate with the same hurt is through our daily interactions. Our relationships with those around us, and with those with whom we will come into contact, or with whom we will speak. Electronic devices and the use of social media, messaging and texting make it so easy to do. Hurt comes in the form of words or general complacency. Or let’s just be real…we get this “I’ve got a second, let me respond and just get this over with. Give this as little emotion and attention as possible as I can right now to say I did” attitude about our relationships and connections.
Our words become impulsive with the tap of our thumbs. Behind screens we become invincible. And we say and do things we would not do in person. Things that damage and impair meaningful connections-simply because we never took the time to stop, think, and be agreeable, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, or humble.
When we are on the receiving end, oh…we want to pull out our “fire” thumbs. Tap back a response. One that demands an apology, puts people in their place. And then back and forth. Round and round we go. Retaliating.
I wish we could be as bold in our face to face interactions as we are in the ones we have with our thumbs. Behind keyboards and screens. Then maybe we would not be walking around with so many unresolved, hurt feelings because of perceived words or actions.
Or maybe we can simply be the one who stops the trail of hurt in the beginning. “Do not repay evil for evil.” The call from Peter implies a choice. Which means in this case we have a choice whether we will hurt someone, or as he also instructs, “pay them back with a blessing.”
And blessings can be firm boundaries that tell where lines have been crossed, without the use of hurtful words or actions. We can speak the truth using loving, compassionate language, and still let others know we will not tolerate being harmed or dishonored. We can call out disrespect without being nasty and unkind.
Or…we can choose surrender. Give the situation to God. Ask God to bless them. Ask God to rid their hearts of hurt and bitterness…(oh, and ours, too). Ask God to show them the path to righteousness, and to give them a life that is prosperous; if they so choose to take that one.
We can give it to God, and move on.
Sometimes it’s the best payback. It’s the one that’s unexpected.
Because here’s the straight up truth. We cannot control how someone speaks. We cannot control the actions of others, or their character when they are hurting.
We choose on this day whom we will serve, and if we are serving Him, we serve others with kindness, sympathy, love, compassion, and humility.
Because we may never get an apology. That person may never see the errors in the way a situation was handled. May never change at all. May change, and we may never see it. And we can’t go back and fix anything.
But we can be a blessing, and in doing so He will bless us.
When we bless this way, let go and move on; He will pay us back what we are owed-Our peace. Our dignity. Our courage. The true payback.
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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