Hello, I’m January
Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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Y’all need Jesus
I love t-shirts. Let me rephrase that. I love t-shirts that have words on them. Sarcastic words. Rap words. Funny words. Jesus words. I like to say what needs to be said with my t-shirt. I started doing this at a time when I was silenced and ridiculed for outwardly expressing my faith more in one of the places I spent a great deal of time. I decided to wear it on a t-shirt instead.
Like this: “Y’all need Jesus!”
Now, I don’t have one that says this…though I do have one about coffee and Jesus, love and Jesus, prayer and Jesus, even tacos and Jesus. But I do have a sticker on the window of my vehicle that tells everyone who will read it that they all need Jesus.
But…here is the truth. We ALL need Jesus. Not just certain people. Not just the people who get on our nerves. Make fun of our faith, or our “Love Wins” t-shirts. ALL of us.
Every moment of our lives. Twenty-four, three six five. -Danny Gokey and Koryn Hawthorne
We all need prayer, because on any given day, we are all struggling. We all need comfort, because on any given day we may feel a little restless, a sense of chaos or loss; and need a little peace and hope. And there is not one who is immune to the devil who beats them down for every single bad thing they did, and knows exactly how to tell them, and repeat to them over and over and over that they are not good enough.
We ALL need Jesus.
Everybody needs a Savior
Even the ones who think they don’t
We’ve got stuff we hide, deep down inside
There’s so much that we don’t showMy t-shirts may be bold. I may speak a little sass with the messages I wear on the front of a tee. Words I can’t express out loud, because at a time I was silenced. I am often not one to hide from a story, but even I have wounds I don’t want to show.
I have stories I can’t yet quite tell, because there are still some cuts left to be healed. Band-aids not yet ready to be ripped off. I am not immune, and the prettied-up person with the button down sitting in the pew, too (not wearing a snarky tee)…oh, they got ’em, too. Things they hide, that is.
Basically, all of us, whether insiders or outsiders, start out in identical conditions, which is to say that we all start out as sinners. Scripture leaves no doubt about it: There’s nobody living right, not even one, nobody who knows the score, nobody alert for God. They’ve all taken the wrong turn; they’ve all wandered down blind alleys. Romans 3: 9-12, MSG
So, yes…We ALL need Jesus! Even t-shirt wearing, Jesus-loving, I bet you think I got it all together pastors. Prisoners. Beggars. Rich Folk.
We ALL need Him.
*I do not own rights to music/lyrics.
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His harvest in His time
Ah! Spring and warmer weather! How I enjoy watching the signs of spring to appear. Promise of more sunshine. Longer days. And it seems the long, gloomy days of winter are long gone. It also brings on the task of gardening.
I became a fan of gardening when my youngest was in elementary school. He would often come home from school, having held all his frenzied emotions in to get through a long, trying day; he released them on the people he deemed the most safe-those at home. Cooking was one way he would calm his wayward emotions, but gardening was our next go-to strategy to release the grip anxiety and autism had on his overwhelmed brain.
I found myself using plants and flowers last year in the throes of my own uncertainty while the world shut-down, and I meadered through an unexpected furlough. I desired the art of nurturing. And plants allowed that. They need to be nurtured, and I craved order; gardening does that, too. Demands order. Plus…it’s hard work. It is hard to keep your mind on anything chaotic when you are digging holes , digging in dirt, batting at flies, pulling weeds, and wielding a shovel or rake.
So I crafted a container garden on my back porch and got to work with transplanting some flowers, fruits and vegetables I could nurture and watch grow. And I did the same this year, as the dreary, cold winter days I tend to dread made way to promises of brighter days I look forward to. Brighter days with blooming flowers, green leaves, fruits on stems, and small shoots of vegetables peeking from tender green stems. I like watching the blooming.
In my garden, I have learned I hate to plant seeds. I’ve tried it, and each time I have failed. Nothing grows. I don’t even see a green leaf peeking out of the dirt.
Leaving me to believe a number of things: I failed. I am no good. I got it all wrong. Or I do what I do in my gardening state-avoid it altogether. I just don’t do that thing anymore. I’ll let the farmers do that thing instead.
I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building. 1 Corinthians 3:6-9. NLT
Did you know this? By the time those green strawberry or jalapeno plants make it to your local nursery, secure in their little black containers, with green shoots, and ready to be transplanted into your garden…they have been growing for weeks, or months. For instance, it can take 3-6 months for a strawberry plant to be ready to transplant once planted from seed. Meaning that farmer worked in a field on that seed long before you got that plant home, has no clue where it ended up, and who it may be blessing. Yet, he is still in his field, planting seeds.
In some seasons I have been the planter of seeds in another’s heart. And sometimes I have been the one to water. Other times, someone else comes along, and waters something I have planted. I may not see the green leaves, or the blooms that my planting produced. I have no idea where that little seedling may have ended up.
But He does. God knows. Because God is the one who ultimately makes the seeds we plant grow. He is the one who is in charge of the blooming process. The timing. The when. The how.
We may play one small part in tending to God’s field. In helping His garden bloom, but He is the one in control of the entire process.
Who is chosen to plant the seed is up to Him. Who is chosen to come along and water what was already growing in the soil of the heart is up to him. When those flowers, or the fruit of His Spirit blooms is up to Him.
We may never see it. We never know exactly what part we played, but we can trust the process, because we know God will tend to what He wanted planted; and He won’t leave the harvest to wilt away.
We can trust God to tend to the blooms, to the harvest, and to show up in homes even when we can’t see.
But the seed in the good earth—these are the good-hearts who seize the Word and hold on no matter what, sticking with it until there’s a harvest. Luke 8:15,MSG
Whether you are the planter, or the one who waters; the seed-that is, the Word of God-once that seed is sent out, it will grow within the hearts of those God designed to bloom, in the ways and time He sees fit for His glory.
We may never see the harvest from what we have tended or planted, but once sent out, God will ensure the harvest is reaped. You keep planting. You keep watering. Let Him tend to the harvest.
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WWJD: Envy
Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV
“Must be nice.”
I was taken aback. This was my favorite show. Grey’s. One of my favorite characters. Bailey. Who always supported other women. Now, spewing these words about a woman who decided she wanted to follow her dreams and chart a new course for her life. “Must be nice.”
Why was I taken aback? Because I have said them before. Haven’t you?
Must be nice to be able to get a new car. Must be nice to quit your job and not work. Must be nice to be able to go on vacation. Must be nice to have summers off. Must be nice to… You can insert whatever object, whatever lifestyle, whatever luxury you believe a person relishes in, that you wish you had here…
What is this? This “must be nice” kind of vibe we have when we encounter someone who has more? Has done more? Maybe even just wants more? It’s our human, flesh-bound desire for more. More stuff. More praise. More of this world. The ways of jealousy are mentioned in James 4:2-3, and it’s a powerful statement of how it can breed not so very wholesome things in our hearts:
You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. (NLT)
“Must be nice.”
But, there’s nothing nice about jealousy. It is the very opposite of love. It is the very opposite of showing love of God. It is how we show love of status, things, money, sometimes people, and prestige.
And, when we don’t have these. If we know someone, or are around someone who has something we don’t have….think about. These have to ring a bell (I am talking to myself, too..I have not been immune): Why did she get that job? I was WAY more qualified? Why do they always get the praise and awards? Wonder who they are sucking up to. She is so skinny, and dresses so nice. I bet she is a stuck up, snob.
And if you are feeling bad, the Bible has examples of these very types of things. We come from a long line of jealous peeps. Cain murdered his brother Abel because God liked his sacrifice better. Sarah sent Hagar away because she could have children and Sarah could not (after she schemed for the child..that’s a whole other story). And Jesus…come on, the Pharisees did everything they could to trick Jesus, because he was smarter and kinder. And well, Judas. Let’s not forget Jesus and Judas.
But we don’t have to stay jealous. Walking around and lacking love for another just because they were gifted differently. Given something you weren’t.
Live differently than you do, in a way you have no clue and are merely judging from appearance. Because yes, that car is nice…but it could be paid for. Yes, it would be nice to not work, but they could be in forced unemployment. And yes, I can attest…summers are nice to have off, but the time between August and June is oh-so-hard.
We may do different things we think are nice, but we all have God.
And while they may have more things. More awards. More whatever you may want here on earth. There is something God is really jealous of, too. His love.
You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. Exodus 20:5
Those other gods? You may consider them to be those golden statues people bowed down to in the Old Testament. But these days those idols are anything that keeps us from loving God fully. Because He wants ALL our love. And we can’t love Him fully if we are coveting our neighbor’s car, job status, new promotion, new accolades, or lifestyle. If we are striving for love from other things like money, fame, or people.
Turn your attentions to Him. Turn your envy to Him. Ask God to come and fill you with what you need and desire. He longs for this attention, and He wants ALL of you.
“Must be nice.”
Yes. Yes, it most certainly is.
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Just see Jesus
Oh, I have days I lose the fight
Try my best but just don’t get it right
Well I talk a talk that I don’t walk
And miss the moments right before my eyes. -Zach Williams, Less Like MeI know what that’s like. I aim daily to “fight the good fight.” But…there are days I fail. I may judge too critically. I may curse. I may cut someone off in traffic. I may fall. Oh, I may fall. I am human. I am trying to walk like Jesus, but I don’t get it right. There are days I miss the mark.
I was sitting in my telehealth space one morning contemplating this art of being an example of Jesus. Thinking about the ways I may not have been. How I could be better. Feeling like a failure in one moment, and remembering grace in another.
Why grace?
Well, I heard a song. Because if you remember He often speaks to me that way…and it was what I was thinking at that moment. The only thing I wanted people to see in me was Jesus. I wanted to set THAT example. And maybe I messed up, but grace gave me the opportunity to be Jesus to others.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Because His grace allows me to get up when I fall. To say, “Yes…I messed up. But God…He picks me back up. He sets my feet on the right path so I can get right with Him again. So I can reflect His image, and be more like His son. Be an example of His love. His goodness.”
Because that’s the thing. Sure, there are things here on earth that would be great to do. Accomplishments I would love to achieve. Things I would love to have. Applause is nice. Compliments feel good for a moment. And an award here and there is great for the ego. Success looks good on social media or a resume.
But…it fills for a moment. You may be remembered for a time. Your name may be dropped here and there. But for me-it doesn’t matter.
It’s not about me.
It’s about Jesus.
Because I can’t pick myself up. When I fall, I need Him to get me on track. It’s Him who gave me the talents that make me a success. And if no one remembers my name, I hope they say this: That woman…yeh, don’t remember her name, but with her, I knew I was with Jesus.
A little more like mercy, a little more like grace
A little more like kindness, goodness, love, and faith
A little more like patience, a little more like peace
A little more like Jesus, oh, a little less like me
A little more of living everything I preach
A little more like Jesus, a little less like meI don’t need them to see or remember me, only Jesus. Let them just see Jesus.
*I do not own rights to music/songs, or lyrics.
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Giving me a “right” hand

We had put it off for a while. The dentist. The youngest needed a mouth full of work, and with anxiety and sensory needs that kept him from even liking to have his teeth cleaned…we had put it off for months. But we had prepared him for this day. Explained what would occur, how he would feel before. That he would sleep during. Wouldn’t feel a thing.
Of course, as a mom-I was the one having all the feels. As he received the first anesthetic that put him to sleep in the waiting room. As he laid his head onto my right shoulder, and uttered he felt “weird.” As he dozed off. As the dentist and anesthesiologist carried him off to the back, I sat with his mask and glasses beside me. Held them in my right hand and held back tears.
Wishing I could hold his hand in that room. Knowing I had to wait here, but there was someone else with him back there.
As I sat in that waiting room waiting for updates. To be given the OK to go back and be “mom” again, I thought about my own experience on his side. In rooms with anesthesia needles. Only doctors and nurses I didn’t know there to hold my hand.
I had recently had surgery of my own. Not my first experience like his, but an experience nonetheless. A fall on my wrist was the reason. Now, I am right-handed. And while I don’t know the suffering of losing a limb, I know the ordeal of having to learn to use your fingers, your grip, and your dominant hand in the way you once did. While I had a left hand to help do some of the things my dominant right hand couldn’t do, my left hand couldn’t write. It couldn’t type. It couldn’t do the things that had been so easy before. Like pick up anesthesia weary kids and carry them to waiting surgery beds. This right hand…it wasn’t the same.
I also hate feeling helpless, so needing help turning door knobs, or picking up a plate got old, and I was determined to get my strength back.
But…here’s the thing-He was with me just as He was with my wee one. In those rooms, and through that period of healing. Because He is the one who is always beside us giving His “right” hand.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10And again in Psalm 18:35, we are reminded again: Your right hand supports me;
your help has made me great.And what is the significance of being provided God’s “right” hand? There are over 130 references in the Bible to the right hand, so surely there must be a significant reason for this. In many references are made to God’s strength. His help. His victory. Something I needed when I lost the use of my “right” hand. Something I often feel I have nothing left of when it comes to being a mom.
And I know I am not the only one. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. You will have seasons when things seem easy. And then a roadblock comes along and the road becomes long and hard again. You wonder if you have what it takes, or if you are just messing your kids up. Or maybe they are messing you up. You really can’t tell anymore.
Why the right hand? Why didn’t God choose the left? Think about it-the right hand of God? It denotes a location of honor, and according to Matthew Henry’s Commentary, when thinking about the reference to the “right hand” in the passage above, Isaiah 41:10-the Israelites were God’s honored people, His chosen. The reference to God’s right hand was meant to provide encouragement to them. That they would not be abandoned, be left discouraged. That he would strengthen them, help them, not allow them to break, and prevent them from falling too hard.
You know who else is honored? Moms. Anyone who is “like a mom.” Or who cares for others.
And so He will do the same for you.
Give you his “right” hand.
So that when your wee one, reaches for yours when he is fresh out of anesthesia and flipping out, you are there to give it-oh so gently, while you rub his soft, long curls with your left one.
When you get home, look down at that hand, the one with little strength to pick up anything, you scoop that wee one up into your arms anyway, because he is yours. Like you are His. Knowing you won’t leave him, like He hasn’t left you. You will stay by his side through this fight that he doesn’t get, just like He stayed by you.
Like He has so many times before. By your “right” side fighting for you. As you fought for him. For so many. You. You honored one. You. You chosen one. You who may be weak and broken. Fallen down for a time. Without the strength of your hand, but never without your constant “right” hand.

About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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