Encouragement grounded in Scripture
Rooted in truth. Anchored in Christ.
New reflections weekly.
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Some Things You Don’t Learn in Kindergarten
“Commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your foreheads as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9
Remember the poem “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten?” Often posted in elementary school classrooms, it is an instruction “manual” I remember seeing many times in my childhood. It listed many of the principles we must learn and remember in this life like playing fair, sharing, and oh, yes….milk and cookies.
However, in trying to deal with the not so glorious moments of parenting a teen this week, I quickly discovered that what I learned in kindergarten did not prepare me for the conversations we have to have as parents in this day and age. Nothing I learned as a 5 year old prepared me for teaching my children about the dangers of social media, how to tolerate the constant influx of information, how to overcome all the evil that surrounds them, or how to decipher the “good” from the “downright bad.” As a 5 year old, I didn’t have to conceive of an age of inappropriate selfies and twerking! That poster that was so prevalent in my childhood, does not come close to helping instruct our children on the way in which to live today!
Don’t worry, parents! There is an instruction manual that helps us teach our children how to act, how to live, how to overcome evil, and how to handle social media overkill.
It’s the Bible.
Still not convinced that everything you really need to know to parent children in our modern age can be found in the Bible? Well, read on.
- Don’t take things that aren’t yours. “You must not steal” Exodus 20:15. Pretty simple, huh?
- Say you are sorry, and accept the apologies of others. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13
- It is perfectly acceptable to rest and take a nap! Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile” Mark 6:31. Yes, even Jesus had to rest!
- Remember The Golden Rule…and remember that it originally appeared in the Bible. “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” Matthew 7:12
- Treat everyone with love and respect. “Love each other, just as I have loved you.” John 13:34
- Watch what you say, tweet, or Facebook! Set a guard over my mouth Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3
- Remember your body is holy; don’t disrespect it. You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you, and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. So use your body to honor God. 1 Corinthians 6:19,20
- Stay true to your friends, but true to your enemies as well. “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Luke 6:27-28
- Beauty really does live on the inside. “The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
- Share everything you have. “If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry.” John 3:11
- And finally…never forget who has instructed you in the way to live. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go” Psalm 32:8.
Because, instruction for our daily lives certainly did not come from a poster on a teacher’s classroom wall, and it definitely doesn’t stop after kindergarten, after you become a teenager, after you become a parent. Open your Bible. Tie these instructions to your wrists and doorposts, so that when the next dance craze hits the social media sites again, when your teen has messed up, or when you just need a nap, you will be well equipped to instruct your children in the ways they should live.
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Bathroom Floor Brokenness
“Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28
Another day is drawing to a close, with another headache that has been poking at the back of my head all day, and poking holes in any patience I may have left. My youngest children have spent the better part of the afternoon fighting over toys, food, and hair. I have snapped at my teenage son in my frustration, and tried to soothe another “mystery” bedtime meltdown from an overly compulsive preschooler. The unrelenting pain in my back is especially bothersome today, and another homework assignment sits in front of me, undone, and due-now. I am bruised, battered, weary, and broken; crying, and laying on the bathroom floor.
I don’t like to admit that many of my nights end here, end in bathroom floor brokenness and pain. I want people to believe I am strong, and that I have it all together, but I also want to believe that we all have these moments as mothers, as women. The “I am tired, impatient, and can’t listen to another fight” moments. The “I just need five minutes to myself” moments. The “I just can’t take anymore” moments. The moments when you are crying and broken on the bathroom floor.
Thankfully, when we are hanging on for dear life, we can rest assured that God doesn’t leave us on that bathroom floor alone. Instead, he meets us right there, on the cold tile, and whispers:
Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there. If you are kicked in the gut, He’ll help you catch your breath.” Psalm 34:17-18
How comforting to know that God is listening to my cries, helping me hold onto that thin thread, and while I catch my breath, he helps lift me up off the bathroom floor.
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Encouragement in a Lunch Box
Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Lunch box notes.
It has never been something I ever really thought much of-leaving notes in my childrens’ lunches to brighten their day while at school. Truthfully, I consider packing lunches to be mundane, a back to school task I actually despise. However, once I gave my children this mundane task of packing their own lunches, I still felt the need to do something to add that “Mommy’s Touch.” Add to this the self-loathing comments I have heard from my six-year old’s mouth, and the lunch box notes become a small ritual, a small touch of Mommy that I now consider important in letting my children know I am thinking about them, and love them while they are at school.
Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29
Lunch box notes.
There are also so many times I can’t find the words to encourage my children. I often stumble over words to reassure my daughter that her forehead is not too wide, to express love to a 4 year old who doesn’t show much emotion, and to relate to a teenager. Yet, our children will hear so much junk in their daily lives-criticisms, hurtful words, temptations, and many other things that will make them feel inadequate, imperfect, and unloved. My lunch box notes could provide a respite from their internal thoughts of imperfection, but there is one note that can help them accept all their flaws and odd behaviors. A note that shares a love that is greater than even that of a Mommy-God’s note, the one that says:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3
So, when our children have been beaten and shattered by the words of friends, by the images of so-called perfection on television, by the lies they are told by society and the devil, and on those days when a note left by Mommy in a lunch box are not enough to rebuild a broken spirit; the promise of God’s love and acceptance most certainly is!
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When a Little Grace Will Do
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need.” 2 Corinthians 12:7
I love to watch my children sleep. It is at this moment I find them to be at the most peace, the most precious. Most of us can remember the tenderness we felt when we watched our children sleep. It becomes one of those moments that is most cherished, along with those moments filled with hugs, laughter, and smiles that melt your hearts. Moments of cuddles, back rubs, and giggles.
However, not all moments of motherhood are precious. It is at these times I have to remind myself that although my children are a gift from God, they were also truly His children first, borrowed for a time until they return to Him. While we are to discipline them, to teach them to respect and obey others, we are also called to show them grace in every situation.
For, God saved you by His grace when you believed. Ephesians 2:8
I admit. I fail, miserably, most of the time, but…
…when they show less than stellar behavior at the grocery store-grace.
…when they fight, argue, scream, and hit each other-grace.
…when they talk back and display attitudes worthy of a call to Nanny 911-grace.
…when they flunk a test, hit a curb, become teenagers-grace.
…when you have endured meltdown after meltdown, day after day, and your over-burdened heart can’t take anymore-grace.
…when they make mistakes and stumble, over and over-grace.
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace. 1 Peter 4:10
We are our children’s example of how they will handle the situations that life will through at them, and how they will treat others.
If a friend abandons them at their time of need-grace.
When they have a fight with their spouse-grace.
When their own children run through grocery store, scream, hit, fail, and become teenagers-grace.
When their over-burdened hearts just can’t take anymore-grace.
When they continue to make mistakes and stumble-grace.
Over and over, just as God has shown us.
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No One Suffers Alone
“Yet, I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” John 16:32
“No one seems to understand!” Oh, the many times I have thought or spoken these words in the middle of my struggles, and all the situations life throws at me. Oh, the many times I have thought: “No one really gets it!”
In these times we feel alone. In our despair we are unable to allow other people to share in our struggles. We retreat. We make ourselves scarce. We put on happy faces so we don’t have to talk about our sufferings, because no one is going to understand them anyway, right? We struggle in isolation, searching for the coldest, darkest caves in which to hide from the world.
Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22
In this we are reassured that we are never alone in our struggles. He understands. When we believe we have no one to whom we can share our burdens, we can turn to Him for comfort. We can turn to Him for peace. We can turn to Him for friendship. We can turn to Him for understanding.
Carry each others burdens…Galatians 6:2
God never leaves us lonely. That is why we were made for relationships. Not just with God, but with each other. God never intended for us to carry our weight alone. He doesn’t want us to retreat in isolation. He wants us to reach out when we are burdened, make people understand our needs, tell others how they can help us.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out for help. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Reach out. Reach out to your friends, to your spouse, to your co-workers. Find people that want to understand and share in your struggles. Find people who will pick you up when you are falling. Find friends who will keep you warm, even if you are trying to hide out in the coldest cave, because I am sure these friends, these burden-sharers, have at one time searched for that same cave, too.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” C.S. Lewis
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.
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