Encouragement grounded in Scripture
Rooted in truth. Anchored in Christ.
New reflections weekly.
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Forward, Not Back
I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:13-14
You can’t move forward if you are constantly looking backward. These have been the words I have repeated to myself and that have been running around and around in my mind since I chose my one word for 2014.
Let’s face it. We have a hard time moving forward. We like to live in our pasts. It’s comfortable there sometimes. The places and people are all familiar. We have been there and done that. So we know what to expect.
Looking forward. Taking those steps into new territory. It’s scary. We are afraid to be in new places. None of the faces look like the ones we know so well, and it certainly isn’t comfortable.
“Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. For I am doing a new thing!” Isaiah 43:18-19
To truly live out God’s will, to live a life that is wholly surrendered to his plan, we must look forward. Sure, it’s alright to look back, to remember the mistakes we have made. But we also must learn from them, move on. We must be fearless. We can’t live and dwell in our pasts.
We can’t constantly look backward, and expect to take a step forward.
So, I am going to strive to move forward. New challenges. New faces. New territories. They are certainly scary, but with God walking beside me and guiding my fearful steps towards His purpose, I do not have to afraid of the road that lies ahead.
I know he will fearlessly move me forward in the right direction.
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One of My Favorite Verses
I recently joined an on-line Bible study sponsored by Proverbs 31 ministries at the urging of a fellow Christian sister. During the study we will be reading and reflecting on the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I had read the book at a church bible study previously, but cannot honestly say that I had applied many of Lysa’s suggestions and insights to my own life, or to my own relationship with God.
As I have been thinking about what I am hoping to learn and how I am hoping to grow this time around after reading it, I cannot help but think about how I want to crave more of Him in my life all the time. Not just when I need Him to solve a problem. Not just when I have a prayer request, But ALL the time! Every day. In every circumstance. In thinking of this longing, and the time I actually spend with him now (which could definitely improve), one of my favorite Bible verses comes to mind:
“What is the price of two sparrows-one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.” Matthew 10:29
And why is this verse one of my favorite? It brings to mind one of the songs I remember singing so many times as a teen, and as a young adult. “I sing because I am happy. I sing because I am free. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me.” This song and verse is always in the back of my mind. I still sing it often, but it wasn’t until this week when I paid a visit to my dear friend Julie’s blog (who is a very gifted and talented songwriter, pianist, and singer!) did I start to remember all the times in my past when I sang that song. In high school during a Sister Act musical, later as a young teen mom as I sat in my son’s room rocking him to sleep, and again as a young adult as I was going through the trials of a divorce.
God, even then, before I had ever given Him my life, or had a thought of walking with Him, placed these songs in my heart at a time when his sparrow needed Him the most. The thought that He was working in me even as a 16 year old on a high school stage is so awesome to me, and is proof that God “craves” us each and every single moment, of each day. Even when we are falling. Even when we are running. Even when we have made mistake after mistake after mistake. Even when we are 16 year old kids whose thoughts are not on God at all.
If He can have time to keep his eye on me with all the other sparrows that fall and need Him too, then I can certainly learn to keep my eye on Him a little bit more too.
This sparrow wants to crave more of God. Every single moment, of every single day.
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But I Don’t Want to Build Anymore Tents!
Paul lived and worked with them, for they were tentmakers just as he was. Each Sabbath found Paul at the synagogue, trying to convince the Jews and Greeks alike. And after Silas and Timothy came down from Macedonia, Paul spent all his time preaching the word. Acts 18:3-5
“Remember, Paul built tents for a living.” These are the words my pastor often speaks to me as I explain how my job can be unfulfilling on many days.
But, really….some days I just don’t want to build anymore tents!
A little over two years ago, I left a full-time position-one I had held for 11 years. I left a place where I was comfortable, where I was fully vested in my retirement plan, and where I was also highly stressed, and took a part-time position in a new place, with new people, and different, less stressful responsibilities. This new position would help in many ways. It would help me go back to school full-time to pursue God’s call to be a counselor, and a minister. It would help me be able to take our autistic son to his various appointments and therapy sessions, and it would allow me time to do my homework, and be at home to help my children with theirs.
Getting this new job was a blessing. And it continues to be. I have a job with flexibility, a very understanding boss, and I have time to do all the things I have listed above.
But, honestly…there are days I am downright bored. There are days I just don’t know what my purpose is at work, and there are days when I know I just don’t want to build anymore tents.
“Remember, Paul built tents for a living.”
And on those days when I have had enough of “tent making,” I try to remember these words. I try to remember that a man as great as Paul, one who ministered to various churches, and authored 13 books of the Bible, also built tents.
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of people you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” Fred Rogers (aka: “Mr Rogers”)
I came across the above quote after a conversation I had with a co-worker who had also been wondering what her purpose was at work. Both of us know we have a purpose and are called by God to do work outside of the daily grind, but we cannot for the life of us understand why in the world we are still “making tents.”
After reading Rogers’ words, it dawned on me. Maybe this part-time blessing was never about me at all. Sure, it has helped our family at a time when we really needed it, but perhaps my being here now, still building those tents, has nothing to do with my schoolwork, my family, or my life balance. Maybe it is so I can touch the life of another person. Maybe it is to help someone else in finding their purpose. Maybe it is simply to be the light of Jesus to everyone I encounter. Maybe my being in this place at this time is to help someone find Him. Find God. Enter His kingdom. And, maybe I will never know what impact I have had or who I may affect along the way. Maybe I will never know how many people will see Jesus though this “tentmaker.”
“But as for you, be strong and courageous, for your work will be rewarded.” 2 Chronicles 15:7
Though I may not see the fruits of my labor in this season. Though I may not know who I touch, or who I lead, I know God will reward me for my perseverance and dedication to His purpose for me.
So, I will steadfastly “build tents,” limit my moping and grumbling, and keep ever present in my mind that one day God will say to me, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
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Fearless in the Face of Doubt
“Truly, I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.” Mark 11:23
This week marks the beginning of another semester of homework deadlines, on-line discussions, and late Sunday night procrastination panic-in other words, another semester of graduate school. I made the commitment this semester to spend a little time before classes began to prepare myself for what lay ahead. In doing so, I reviewed some of the grades and comments from professors I had not yet gotten to from the previous semester. I came across these words:
“January, we all have areas that we can grow in, but your insight has really increased over this week. Like all good counselors you will get better with practice. Keep your eyes on the prize!”
This after a week at school where I spent most of my time in my head, doubting every little thing I did or did not say as a pseudo-counselor.
Keep your eyes on the prize….
But, so often I keep them on myself-on my inadequacies, my mistakes, my failures, my self-doubt. I can’t see the prize because I am blinded by my insecurities.
And, I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6
He who began a good work. Was it not God who called me to this season in life? Is it not God who will equip me with everything I need to see his work and purpose through to the end? Is it not God who urges me in Philippians 3:4 to keep my eyes on the prize?
Yet, I still doubt my abilities, and in turn doubt Him.
So, this semester and those seasons I don’t even know about yet, I want to keep in the forefront of my mind the urging of Paul in Ephesians 3:20-21. To remember, God can do anything-far more than I could ever imagine or desire. Far more than I could ever do on my own, or in my own power.
I have to replace fear and doubt with faith.
I must keep my eyes on the prize.
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Trash Talk
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you. Psalm 19:14
“Can one of you please reach over and hand me that trash can?” I ask my students during Sunday School.
“Can anyone tell me what is in this trash can?” “Um, trash, Miss. January (Like, duh!)” “Right, and what do we know about trash?” I ask.
“Well, it’s stinky. It’s gross. And it makes the trash can dirty and stinky, too!”
“Hmmmm…….are our mouths a little like trash cans?”
Who knew a trash can and a loaded question about our mouths could become an object lesson for a group of 8 to 11 year olds? Who knew it would also convict me?
Is my mouth like that gross, stinky trash can? Does what come from my lips resemble foul-smelling garbage?
People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish; but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who are made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! James 3:7-10
Come on, now! Surely, I don’t bless God with these lips, and then use them to spew garbage!
Oh, but surely I do!
Because, I’d be calling myself a liar if I didn’t admit to trashing my neighbor.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit I gossip about my co-workers.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit your Facebook statuses are sometimes the topic of some of my “trash” talking sessions with my girlfriends.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I speak out of anger to my husband, sometimes to intentionally hurt him.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that many times I yell at my children, instead of building them up.
I’d be lying if I didn’t look at myself in the mirror and let the “trash” talk roll.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes my mouth is just as foul, just as stinky, and just as dirty as that garbage can.
Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips. Psalm 141:3
Once again a simple Sunday School lesson on trash talk has revealed many of the ways I could be more like Jesus in my daily life and conversations.
So, I am convicted to empty the trash that pours from my lips. To replace the stench of unkind words with the pleasant aroma of a compliment or word of encouragement. To replace the gossip about my co-workers or neighbors with prayers that I may see them in the way Jesus does. To stop and think before I yell at my husband or kids. To learn to use my words to build up instead of tear down.
To take out the stinky, gross, foul-smelling trash once and for all!
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.
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Grace 'n Grounds 