Encouragement grounded in Scripture
Rooted in truth. Anchored in Christ.
New reflections weekly.
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More than just a name
Have you ever researched the meaning of your “born” name? The name you are called on a daily basis? Maybe it’s the name on your birth certificate or a nickname you have had since goodness knows when.
Just me? Ok. Maybe it’s because my name isn’t ordinary. Or because I get asked a number of questions about my name constantly.
Or maybe I’m the only one who has thought…hmmmm…does this name fit me? Is it an indication of my personality?
January. It only ever ranked in the top 1000 baby names of the year since that rankings inception in 1978 at…wait for it. 639. Out of 1000. No surprise. I was born in 1978. This was right around the time a movie, with a character of the same name was made. Guess the novelty wore off, because it never ranked on that list again.
However, it did rank among the top names to make fun of during my school-age years. Along with my maiden name, now made famous by a country singer, known more for her legs than her easy to poke fun at last name.
Then Andrew brought Simon to meet Jesus. Looking intently at Simon, Jesus said, “Your name is Simon, son of John-but you will be called Cephus (which means Peter).” John 1:42
While my parents may have given me this unique, easy to make fun of name, like Simon, who received his own new name; I was given a number of new names when I accepted Christ.
Though my father may have picked my middle name, and had much to do with that now made famous last name, my heavenly Father gave me a new name when I entered His family.
I may be January to all who greet me. But I am more than just an earthly name to God.
I am chosen. I am royalty. I am beloved. Set apart. Victorious. Forgiven.
I am who He says I am.
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Stand up and walk
Stuck. Sometimes we just get stuck. I don’t mean like in the mud, or in an elevator-although we can certainly feel at times that we are stuck and not going anywhere. Like everything else is passing us by. Like everyone else is being blessed, healed, whatever. And we are not moving at all.
A man was lying there who had been sick for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw the man and knew he had been sick for such a long time, Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be well?” The sick man answered, “Sir, there is no one to help me get into the pool when the water stops moving. While I am coming to the water, someone else gets in before me.” John 5:5-7
We can sound a little like this sick man at times. Someone always gets the promotion over me. Everyone else is being blessed and I am still waiting for my prayers to be answered. Why hasn’t God called me? Why is no one helping me?
Sound familiar?
You are stuck in comparison. Stuck in complaints. Stuck in doubt. And sometimes downright fear of simply trusting Him. Waiting for someone. Anyone. Heck, the very first one-you don’t even care who it is or what they have to offer-to come and save you.
Then Jesus said,”Stand up. Pick up your mat and walk.” John 5:8
He already saved you. He is just simply waiting for you to walk like it.
Walk in acceptance. Leaving comparison behind, because He has accepted you as you are. In all you uniquely have to offer.
Walk in forgiveness. Leaving behind guilt and shame for the mistakes you have made, because He already took all that away.
Walk in strength. Knowing that days will be hard. The road will be bumpy, but He provides the endurance to keep climbing over the bumps, through the pools, to your purpose.
Walk in purpose. Not looking around at the victories and blessings of others, and having a pity party. But continuing to show up, keep going and keep pursuing all that He has for you. In His timing. His way.
Walk in love. Knowing that He loves you. Even if today it feels like no one does. He does. All the parts you deem unworthy. He believes they are enough.
Stop waiting. Stop looking around. Stop wondering if you are good enough.
Stand up and walk.
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As much as it takes…
“They just don’t listen. Seriously. I am trying, but they just don’t want to hear it.”
I don’t know how many times over the years I have said this. Been discouraged that messages of love and kindness are rejected. Disillusioned by watching those I’ve tried to guide make unwise choice after unwise choice. Been treated poorly in the process.
Even as I sit here writing this, we are just home from church, and I’ve endured a litany of ungratefulness, disrespect, and sass from two that just left the place in which they are supposed to be learning to be His “light.”
I sit here reflecting on the many times I’ve been yelled at for simply discussing alternate choices, and the consequences of not making them.
The times kindness has been rejected.
The times wisdom has been scoffed at.
The times when love has not felt like enough.
I wonder in those times what I am doing wrong? Why they don’t hear the message? Why I continue to suffer for doing good?
“The Son of Man must suffer terribly and be rejected by this generation.” Luke 17:25
That generation rejected wisdom, guidance, and love.
And so does this one.
Because not much has changed over the years. No one wants a Savior, because our false belief has us convinced we can save ourselves.
Just like the Pharisees that wanted Jesus killed, because they rejected His teaching, we all want to believe our way is best. That we have it all figured out.
We don’t desire truth, because we look to media and other worldly things to define it.
Yet as Jesus lay dying, rejected, suffering on a cross-He was still able to utter these words: “Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
And if He could-the One who suffered, who was despised much more than I…
So can I.
So I can pray that I can keep loving.
Even when it’s hard. Even when I am exhausted. When it’s rejected. Taken advantage of, or simply not good enough. Even through suffering.
I can pray that as I ask God, How much do I allow? How many times do I have to forgive? How long do I suffer?
He will tell me this: As much as it takes. As many times as it takes. As long as it takes. Until they see love and kindness in you, and finally know Me.
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What you wished you’d said….
Ugh! Go away! Get out of here! You are so annoying.
A day in the life of sibling rivalry. And it seems to happen a lot here while both deal with the changes that come with growing up.
“You go back in there. She is going to fix how she just spoke to you.” It’s what I ask each to do when they repeat things that are often hurtful.
But children are not the only ones who can hurt. Adults often do, too.
And what is it about us that has this tendency to get into a battle of words? Misspoken words.
Anger. Frustration. We feel ignored. Not taken seriously. Our emotions take over and eventually the spirit we asked to come guide us through our words. To help us choose them wisely, often don’t come out the way He intended.
They come out because we feel a need to fight back. And they come out all wrong.
They sometimes hurt.
So, like I tell my kids. How do we go back and fix it?
Sometimes, it takes simply being honest. Being sincere and saying the words you wished you had said instead. The ones He directed you to say.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
Maybe what was said wasn’t of benefit in the moment. Maybe what was meant to come out was something so different.
Something like this:
I pray for you everyday. All day long, actually. I pray that you will be kind and loving. I pray that I can model these characteristics for you. I pray that you will be you and not everyone else. I pray that you have everything you need. I’m sorry. I love you.
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Life goes on. So will I.
I remember back in the early 90’s a family sitcom called “Life Goes On.” The show chronicled the life of a family dealing with the challenges of raising and supporting a family member with Down’s syndrome. A sister who had to learn to accept her brother, while trying to be accepted by her peers. Navigating a relationship resulting in grief, until we find in the end they all grow up. They all navigate and move through life with all its up and downs, and that life really does go on, just like the theme song for the show promised.
But, sometimes in the midst of it all, you are forced to put life on hold for a while.
In order to be reminded that life does go on, but so will you.
Life was actually going pretty good. I had finally let go of some junk. Had a routine down that kept me balanced. I was happier. Had more joy. And I could count on only one hand the number of times I had cried at work this year. I didn’t dread the commute. The day. No longer cried on my way home. I felt like I was in a balanced place.
In fact, the moment that all would turn for me, I had been doing what I had been doing daily-laughing. I was finally, after more than a year, feeling like myself again.
Until I wasn’t.
And in a matter of hours, I began to shift back into that irritable, cry at the drop of a hat, negative thought having woman of old.
And life had to stop. Or, well it really didn’t. It went on. Without me.
I was the one forced to stop.
I couldn’t do anything. The girl so used to going, couldn’t go. I couldn’t even pray in the same way. Moved to my seated position in my closet to laying down. All to keep the world from spinning.
I felt alone. I felt like I had no idea who I was. Fear that life was going on, just as it should.
And it did. Life went on. Continued to spin on its axis, just like my head.
Life went on…and so did I?
For a moment I was lonely, until laying in my closet floor, surrounded by the prayers I had placed on the wall, I saw this:
You are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me. Psalm 23:4
God was there on that floor with me.
While I may have been a little fearful of my prognosis. Of what others would think (or even not think) of it, I was reminded over and over in my doubts:
Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on his way! He’ll save you!” Isaiah 35:4
And though I couldn’t see it at first, he was giving me power once again. Reminding me that life goes on, and so will I?
Giving me words to write (well, transcribe) when writing became too hard. Giving me time for much needed rest. Giving me fresh new ideas I hadn’t thought possible before. You know, back when I thought my life was balanced. I could see that I rarely gave myself time to even think of my purpose, and all the ways my talents could be used for His glory.
Until I was forced to step away from life for a bit.
To learn that I will go on. That just like last time, I’ll get through this with His strength. I’ll feel like the “me” He desires me to be me once again.
Obladi oblada life goes on, brahhh Lala how the life goes on
And so will I.
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.
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