Hello, I’m January
Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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The One who sees you
It seemed to be like any other Sunday morning. I got up. Made my coffee. Sat down to read my Bible. It seemed like any other morning. Yet, it wasn’t. That coffee wouldn’t go down as it usually does. That Bible remained unopened, and something inside of me was just unsettled.
And I spent the rest of that seemingly, normal Sunday morning sobbing on my bedroom floor. That urge to sob remained as I went through my normal Sunday motions.
Until: “If today you feel unloved, come pray.”
So I did. Because in the core of that unsettled spirit was that belief.
I felt unloved.
Overlooked. Unappreciated. Disrespected. Insignificant. Like nothing I did was ever good enough. Simply expected and undervalued. And I’ll admit…I was thinking it sure would be nice to hear a simple “Thank you!”
But as I sat (once again, crying) at that altar, I was reminded of this:
While others may not accept my love, or even return it-I am never far away from His love.
I wasn’t overlooked. He saw everything I was doing to take care of my family and countless others.
I wasn’t insignificant or undervalued. In fact, He reminded me that He thought I was so significant that He offered me grace, a new life, and talents only I possessed-even if they were not appreciated by others.
So today…I want you to know: Even if others make you feel like you don’t belong. Don’t measure up, or simply forget you.
Even if you never hear an earthly, “Thank you.”
You belong. You belong with Him. You have talents and gifts that are immeasurable. You are not forgotten.
You are seen. You are appreciated. You are loved.
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When the storm rages anyway
I love thunderstorms. I love to sit on my porch and feel the wind. Smell the rain. Hear the boom of the thunder.
I don’t, however, like the storms that tend to rage in this life. Those that create fear. Cause chaos. Leave us wondering if we will get through.
Asking God, “Lord, save us! We are going to drown!” (Matthew 8:25)
It was as I read this verse for the third time in less than a week. In the midst of a storm. Telling my husband, “Look! Here it is again!” That he uttered these words: “Yes. But sometimes He doesn’t get rid of the storm.”
And it’s true. Sometimes He just doesn’t.
And we become discouraged when we don’t see Him still the wind and waves in our lives. Because Jesus’ rebuke to the wind and waves to “Quiet! Be still!” It also is a rebuke to us. A rebuke to our fears. A rebuke to surrender.
“Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40).
To rebuke our lack of faith.
Yes. Sometimes he doesn’t get rid of the storm.
Because He uses it. To grow and test our faith. To show you how to surrender to God. To give you peace. The kind that gave Jesus the calm to sleep through a storm.
Our storms are for a greater purpose, as well. One that many times may have nothing to do with us.
So you can be an example to someone else. Show someone else how to have faith. Surrender. Show them peace.
To help someone else when their storm rages anyway.
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Pray. Believe.
One of the toughest jobs I have ever had has been being a parent. While wildly rewarding, it can also be the most heartbreaking of tasks. I question my influence as a parent and a caretaker of many other kids daily. Some times multiple times a day. I question if they even listen. If the direction I provide will lead them down paths of wise choices. Whether my infusion of kindness will inspire them to be the same. Whether they will recover when life begins to twist and turn in unexpected ways.
And because I don’t have all the answers , I seek to lean on the One who does.
While it has not supplied me with peace at all times, and there are some days the choices my kids (or the ones who feel like my kids) still break my heart. And there are days I pray and pray, and want to give up, because I don’t see Him at work; I continue to pray and believe that He will work things all out for good as He promised.
And so I pray….
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13– I pray that He gives them strength each day to do what is required-physically, mentally, and spiritually.
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9– I pray they will be brave enough to stand up against injustice and hold tight to what they believe in.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.Philippians 4:6-7– I pray that God calms their hearts, their bodies, and their minds; and when they feel anxious he fills them with overwhelming peace.
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches. Phil 4:19– I pray they come to understand that the world and people cannot give them what they need. That only God can.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.Proverbs 3:5-6– I pray the Lord will lead them along the right paths daily. And that he will place people in their lives whom they trust. Those who when I am not around, can steer them in the right direction.He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. Psalm 91:2– I pray that He will keep them safe and secure; and cover them with protection daily in a world intent on causing harm.
You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. Psalm 16:11– I pray they are filled with joy. Not because they have an abundance of stuff, but because they are rich in the blessings only He can give. Love. Safety. Protection. Peace.
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Isaiah 1:17– I pray when they see another being hurt, or see someone fall; they will have the courage to speak up. To be an advocate. To cry along with the heartbroken. To lift up.
Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. Proverbs 19:20– I pray they come to know that wisdom does not come from books, getting good grades, or the best test scores; but from learning and speaking the truth.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6- I pray they will be kind. Patient. That they will be humble, and obey when they are asked to obey. I pray they don’t wallow in anger, and they seek honesty in all their interactions. I pray they love and forgive others the way they are loved and forgiven.
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3– And I pray they know that as they walk out the door. If they walk the halls of school feeling lonely and misunderstood. Once they grow old and start walking in their own way-they know without any doubt that they are loved with a love that never ends. That He (and I) are always there.
This is how I pray.
And some days it doesn’t seem to work. Some days I have to say them more than once.
Some days those kids still break my heart.
Some days I can’t see the fruit at all.
But just as He cares about them, even more than I do. He cares about what is on my heart, too
My prayers won’t be in vain. They may not walk in it now, but I have faith one day they will walk in the truth, and that day will be a day of rejoicing, and not heartbreak.
This I pray. This I believe.
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A living example?
Something I’ve been pondering lately: Can empathy be taught? As I talk and talk, and guide and guide; even pray for others to make wise choices. To think of another’s perspective, I often wonder if being intentional and considering the hearts of others is a skill that can be learned. Some days it seems downright fruitless.
In a world where most people just don’t seem to care about the feelings or hurts of others; where anything seems to be said without weighing the consequences, or thinking about how it harms-I pray my example can make some small difference. That what I model sparks a little more love and care in this world. Especially in a much more entitled one.
In thinking over the example that is to be set, I came across something Paul had to say about treatment of others in Romans 12:
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! Romans 12:9-16
So today, though I may talk until I’m even tired of hearing my own voice, I pray these things:
That someone will see the love I show to those who don’t deserve it, and love others the same.
That someone will reach down to pick up someone who has fallen, instead of laughing or criticizing.
That someone will see me happy and joyful; even in the darkest of times, and find the courage to choose to be positive, too.
That someone will see me enjoying the company of the so-called “ordinary,” or the “uncool,” and decide it is much cooler to enjoy their company, too. I pray someone chooses to not let them sit alone.
That someone will see me crying because I feel the pain of another. Laughing because I feel their joy, and choose to sit and see life through someone else’s eyes for a bit.
That someone will be a little more kind. Will speak with words that are less harsh. Will apologize. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive. Simply because they watched me.
They watched me show love to the unloveable. They watched me show patience and grace to those who were wearing someone else’s patience. They heard me speak words of encouragement and praise to someone who only hears judgment.
They saw Jesus in me.
And then choose to let someone see Jesus in them, too.
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Just keep praying
“She called me 5 minutes before we were supposed to be there and said she changed her mind.”
This is the response received when asking for the outcome of a meeting I had to miss. But what no one knew was that 5 minutes before they were supposed to be in that room, someone was praying miles and miles away in a different room. Praying for one so many had already given up on. Praying a family would be given the opportunity to show a young soul that no one was giving up.
God had answered my prayer. And this conversation triggered another one had over a year before. One that wasn’t so grace-filled.
I sat in the meeting, reporting needs, data, and the potential for those “needs” to not be met based on things beyond my control. I sat there thinking of all the pitfalls and solutions when I heard it-a mocking tone from across the room: “Maybe we can just pray about it. Isn’t that what works?”
I don’t recall how long that meeting ran on after that. I don’t recall what was decided. What else was said. What I was being asked to do. Because I sat stunned that my faith has been put on display as some kind of joke. That mocking a praying woman was OK.
It wasn’t the first time I had been told prayer was ridiculous. Praying has always been deemed silly by those who don’t believe in its power. Its power to change people. To move mountains of circumstances. To heal.
I wish I had been strong enough that day to list all the ways in which prayer had “worked.” The proof I had that all that had unfolded, the roadblocks moved had not just been mere coincidence.
The prayers I uttered in corner offices that the most vulnerable would be safe and secure as they passed over the threshold I had soaked with prayers of protection. And the countless wee ones who passed through and stayed because “it’s safe in here.”
The prayers uttered for tough conversations, reconciliation, and healing of hurts I never inflicted.
No one will convince me that the call made within those 5 minutes was mere coincidence. That this time or all the others before, God had not heard the pleas of my heart.
No. I am convinced on that day God desired the same thing, and he worked it out. Just as He will continue to each and every time I ask.
And while it may not be as evident as a call 5 minutes before a meeting, each time I come to Him with the burdens of my heart. He will work it out in His way. His time.
Because despite anyone’s thoughts that what you are praying for may not be worthy. May be silly. May be useless. Keep on praying anyway. He hears you. He wants to answer you. He cares about what’s on your heart.
You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it. Matthew 21:22
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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