Encouragement grounded in Scripture
Rooted in truth. Anchored in Christ.
New reflections weekly.
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Looking for love? Open this…
Photo by Wendy van Zyl on Pexels.com Write them on the doorposts of your house, and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:9
I have sticky notes of daily affirmations and reminders of my worth posted in a number of places. On walls. On mirrors. On microwaves. Coffee pots. Some are quotes I have collected through the months, but others are Bible verses.
Because God’s Word is love.
And on the days I don’t feel especially loved, I can read these words on my “doorposts and gates” and be reminded that there is one who most certainly loves me.
How so?
Well…there is that one that says “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3), to remind me that God’s love does not fail.
There is one that states, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling” (Song of Solomon 4:7); to remind me on days I don’t feel it, that I am beautiful in God’s eyes.
And the other that says, “the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6); to remind me I am never alone, and He will never abandon me.
Or another that tells me: “The Lord will fight for you. You only need be silent” (Exodus 14:14), to remind me I always have a protector.
Aren’t these things we all want to hear? That we are loved, beautiful, and always held and cared for?
You don’t have to look too far. These messages are all in His love letter, written to and for you. The Bible. And He is waiting for you to open it up, and read all the amazing things He says about you.
And maybe add them to a sticky note or two!
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The spirit of love
Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com “For the whole law can be summed up in this command: Love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:14
It has been said when discussing the act of finding love, that the secret to loving another person is to love oneself first.
Some may see this as selfish, but when looking at the command “to love others as ourselves,” it is hard not to consider the way we treat the very one whom God has made and loved.
In order to love our neighbor we must love the spirit of His love that lives in us. It is the same spirit that drives us to honor ourselves. To embrace the person He has made us to be.
Galatians 5:22-23 lists the spirit that dwells in us when are are one with Christ, and know His love-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It is these very same fruits that work to help us love one another. Ourselves. And our neighbors.
Think about it. Would you treat yourself with contempt? Not be gentle with oneself, and then expect to be able to treat others with respect and gentleness? Probably not likely.
How do we practice this love in the way we treat ourselves, and then in turn show this to others?
Be joyful. Knowing that life isn’t always positive, but we can walk through our days radiating joy through laughter. Being grateful for what is good, and speaking without negativity. This joy can then be demonstrated to others in the way we approach them. Do we smile when we see them? Do we point out those things that make us proud of them?
Be at peace with where you are on your journey. Accepting trials as God’s way of helping you grow. So that you can accept the journey of growth in those you love as well.
This also requires patience. Knowing some things change and some things take time. Your growth takes time. The growth of others will, too. But it is also being present and patient when we feel life is in a rush-not tapping our foot and huffing at the person in front of you in the checkout, but realizing they most certainly probably have places to go, too.
Love demonstrates faith, not only in God, but also in others. Faith that our righteousness, and our goodness will shine for others to see. The goodness that is shown through honesty. Our ability to acknowledge when we are wrong. Our ability to ask for forgiveness. Our desire to be who we say we are in public, as well as in private. So that people have faith in our word, and grow to trust us and in turn Him.
When times get hard. When we mess up and fall, we control our tongue. The things we say to ourselves. We don’t believe the lies that cause us to feel shame, so that when someone else fails, as they will-we will know just the right words to say so they don’t feel it either.
We give ourselves a break when we are unlovable. Offer a second chance. Words of kindness and love.
And as we know we would want gentle words spoken to us in our knothead moments, we must speak the same words of love to others. In all our interactions. With ourselves in our moments of weakness. With all people. Even those that are not so kind to us.
In everything we do, and everything we say-we must always demonstrate His spirit of love.
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Why I “make” them go to church…
“I can’t believe you are taking us to church when there is ice outside. You don’t even give us a choice!”
And he is right. It was cold. There was frost on the windshield. On the porch. On the steps. And, no…he didn’t have choice.
Yes. I MAKE my kids get up and go to church.
And this is why:
The world is going to feed them a bunch of lies. It is going to tell them that fame. Success. Approval. Opinions. That these things matter.
It is going to give them a skewed view of love. Tell them that love is flowers. Chocolate. Gifts. That you have to change or morph into someone else to be worthy of love. That love is based on some kind of feeling, and has nothing to do with actions.
The world is going to convince them that God isn’t real. That He doesn’t exist. That happiness is obtained by having more things. Their faith will be tested, mocked, and ridiculed.
Point your kids in the right direction, and when they are old they won’t be lost. Proverbs 22:6, MSG
I take them to church so they are equipped to combat the lies of the devil, and the ones the world will throw at them. I take them to church so they will recognize a lie once seen or heard, and walk solely in His truth.
I take them to church so they can learn, know, and embrace; not who they are told to be, but who God has made them to be. So they are equipped to walk with their heads held high when the world, and all of its twisted messages of acceptance and success begin to fill them up instead.
I take them to church so they know true love. Love that sacrifices. Love that is unconditional. A love like no other that not one person or thing. Achievement or reward can give them.
I take them to church-not because I believe this is the only place to encounter God. Know Him. Feel Him. But because, when given a choice between the demands of the world and their faith, they will always choose their faith.
So, no. I don’t give them a choice.
I “make” them go to church.
“Write these commandments I have given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 MSG
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Waiting for the harvest
I remember all too well the day I had to make peace with a plant. I also remember the day I wanted to slam that same plant against a wall. Watch it fall to the ground in tiny pieces.
I sat in an empty room, realizing that in order to have peace in tough circumstances, I had to make peace with a plant.
Not really the plant, but the process of growth.
Meanwhile, friends, wait patiently for the master’s arrival. You see farmers do this all the time, waiting for their valuable crops to mature, patiently letting the rain do its slow but sure work. Be patient like that. Stay steady and strong. James 5:7, MSG
Farming. Sowing. The harvest. It’s not an overnight process. The time between planting the seed and gathering the harvest can take months.
Months and months of growth.
And growth takes patience. Waiting. Continuing to nurture even if you don’t see the harvest right away.
Growth is painful. For both the plant and the sower. Because if conditions aren’t right, and the soil isn’t fertile, it is likely those seeds will never sprout.
And watching that can be heartbreaking.
Growth takes perseverance.
Even if the farmer strikes out on the first crop, because the rain never comes. The seed withers. Maybe some mole comes along and wreaks havoc on the farmer’s hard work.
The farmer doesn’t stop sowing. No. He (or she) tries again. Waits for the right conditions. Using the most nourishing of soil. Waters and waits. Again and again.
He makes peace with the growth.
So at just the right time…a crop of beautiful buds will burst forth.
Buds (or even people) who were loved, nurtured, and cared for by a farmer who never gave up.
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Please don’t ask me to drink
Sometimes you can be the loudest, funniest, and coolest one at the party, and at some point still feel all alone. Still be the one feeling like “Baby” stashed in a corner, behind a plant…trying to figure out where you fit in. Hoping no one asks if you want a drink. Please. Please don’t ask if I want a drink.
That was some random thought I had written down. At a party. Where maybe one or two folks I actually knew were present. Where the majority of them were on the dance floor. Drinks in hand. All seeming to be having the time of their lives. While I sat behind a plant. In a corner. Wondering if a drink would make me feel like I belonged.
I wasn’t always this way. I was for a good part of my late teens (yes…late teens) and well into my early 30s the one dancing. With drink in hand. Maybe even on a “good” night, two in hand. And…if I was really slick. I could hide them just enough so any picture taken? Yep. No one would know.
I was the mom who downed a bottle of wine before her kids were off the bus. Knowing I had enough time for the buzz to wear off before the hubs got home. Figuring the kids were too young to notice.
I broke things after drunken wine festivals. I justified my long days spent “out” to my love-“I’ve got a lot on my plate.”
I planned entire weekends around my next drink. And my Sunday’s around the bathroom.
I needed to escape. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to forget all the junk. Even if for just a little bit.
I was the life of the party, because for those moments I could forget about all that was life.
I was the life of the party, yet still so lonely.
And so I get it. I get why people become drawn to food. To booze. To drugs. To drown out those feelings of loneliness. Inadequacy. Overwhelm.
They are the reasons I started drinking. They are also the exact reasons I stopped.
Because I didn’t want alcohol to be the fuel that drove me to make a connection with someone. Because I didn’t want my social interactions to be obscured by cloudy judgment. Because, if I’m honest…my inability to feel like I belonged in those spaces made me overcompensate. I was downright obnoxious. Loud. And rude.
I didn’t want to feel like I needed a drink to be accepted.
I didn’t want to numb feelings that would still be there when I woke.
Because I finally started to see that the end of the bottle was not the end of all my problems.
And it took me some time to get to the point where I can walk in a room, and own the place. Water bottle and all.
Yet, there are still times I don’t. Still times I feel so, so lonely.
While my choice to not partake makes me seem like a prude to some. May have people looking sideways at me because, my goodness…you don’t have a cocktail after those crazy days you have??? (Nope. Nope. I don’t). May have others believe I am silently judging their choice to do so.
It’s simply not good for me. And what’s not good for me shouldn’t leave me feeling lonely.
So, keep inviting me to your parties. To happy hour. To your wedding with the open bar.
Just be OK with me if I decline, because the temptation to take the edge off the “social jitters” may be too much. Or if I show up and only order water. Please don’t convince me to have another drink. Because I know I can’t stop at one.
Please help me to feel accepted in that corner. Behind that plant. While I tap my foot, just trying not to dance.
Please invite me out on that dance floor.
Just please don’t ask me to drink.
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.
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Grace 'n Grounds 