Grace 'n Grounds

Encouragement Grounded in His Truth

Hello, I’m January

Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.

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  • I quit…and it’s not what you think, I bet.

    I’m quitting social media. Yep. Every single bit of it. For an indefinite amount of time.

    And here’s why:

    It’s a time sucker.

    While I’m standing over the stove cooking dinner, I’m scrolling. While I’m waiting in traffic, I’m scrolling. While I’m waiting in the doctors office, I’m scrolling. While I’m folding laundry, I’m checking my notifications. And on the way to clean the bathroom…yep-scrolling. I bet I could get much more done if I wasn’t always scrolling.

    It’s a family time sucker.

    Right before I wrote this, I felt deeply convicted to actually sit downstairs with my husband and spend time with him. Talk. After a long day. I did. But I wasn’t engaged. What was I doing? Oh yes, scrolling. Checking Facebook. Instagram.

    During family game nights while waiting for my turn I found myself picking up my phone, feeling convicted because I don’t do this with the littles at work, why do I feel it’s OK here?

    It’s a hope sucker. I like to think sometimes that the little bit of love and kindness I sprinkle makes a difference in the midst of all that seems so dark, but kindness doesn’t go viral too often. And with the one or two uplifting posts sprinkled throughout, there are twenty more news stories of gloom and doom. While I don’t want to live under a rock, I don’t want to place my hope in anything but the Solid Rock. And He isn’t found on Facebook. He is found in the Book!

    It’s sucking the life out of our generation of kids. Their childhood. Their innocence. Their desire to just go ride a bike! The exposure to people, subjects, and things beyond their tender years is astounding. I hear it daily. And I no longer want to be a part of it.

    I want more time. To read. To actually clean my house and complete it. Heck, maybe I’ll finally write a book. Learn to knit. Start running again.

    More time talking to my family. Laughing with my family. Playing with my family not on my phone. More time spending it with friends. Maybe invite some people over since my house will now be clean, and I won’t be scrolling during game nights!

    I want to have intentional conversations. Intentional friendships. Not those that only exist because we are social media “friends.” Not conversations that include instant messages and never-ending pings on my phone. Reach me the old-fashioned way. A call or note will do.

    I want to start looking for hope in the things around me, because I NEED to know it still exists here. The small, simple, joyful moments. That they are still possible. Even if they are not documented all on Facebook or with some Insta filter. I am going to seek hope from The One where hope can always be found.

    And though my act of “rebellion” and “defiance” is not gonna get rid of sites like Snapchat (though I wish it would just disappear) or TikTok (poof, go away already) decide to shut down…maybe someone reading this somewhere will decide to be an example for their own kid. For someone else’s. Or decide not to hand over their cell phone with that oh-so-easy access to the World Wide Web playground.

    Maybe. Just maybe. But even if not….I quit.

  • Let them remember you

    “These kids are not going to remember us. So just do your job, go home, and forget about what goes on here. Because when they leave, they will forget about you.”

    A conversation. Said after a hopeless week. After taking home way too much junk from kids who aren’t “mine,” but some days certainly feel like it.

    But…is it really me I need them to remember? Or is it Him?

    If it is me, then I am not showing love, I am merely manipulating people. Acting in selfish ways to get some type of reward or applause. From people. I want people to appreciate me.

    And I thought about this as I walked into a gymnasium full of people. Feeling super uncomfortable. See, I may be a preacher, and stand in front of people and speak, but the social scene is not my area of comfort. I am either too loud, or look for the emptiest corner, closet to the nearest exit.

    I sat there, on the emptiest set of bleachers I could find, by the back exit, saying to myself, “No one will know I am here, and so no one will know if I leave.”

    But God cared.

    Let me explain. Because being there wasn’t about me. In that empty corner. On that empty stretch of bleachers sat a light. A light some don’t always see. In the gym, or outside of it.

    I wasn’t here for them to see me. I was here for them to see light.

    I am not getting up and doing what I do each day for me, I am doing it so others see light.

    I don’t need them to remember me. To remember my name or anything I have done. I want them to see one light. Hear one voice. Know one presence when in my space.

    I want them to remember one name: Jesus.

  • ,

    Maybe you failed…but a failure you are not

    I failed today.

    I had all these things I set out to do. And I didn’t do a single one.

    I prayed last night that when I woke this morning, I would remember that “mercy was anew.” I did remember it. For a moment. Until that car pulled out in front of me. That child yelled at me. That co-worker snapped at me. And I forgot all about mercy.

    I failed to do the laundry.

    I failed to put down my phone.

    I failed to meet my deadline. I failed to be patient. Spoke harshly. Was a little too snappy. Let my frustration show through my tone and actions.

    I failed today.

    I failed to cook dinner.

    I failed to play that game with my kids.

    I failed to spend time with my husband.

    I failed.

    I failed because the world says I have to keep up with everything that is thrown at me. I failed because the world says I have to have it all together. Be everything to everyone, all with a bright smile on my face. Check everything off my endless to-do list with everlasting cheeriness.

    And if I keep trying to measure up to the standards of the world. Rating myself on whether all my check boxes are filled, I will always feel like a world-class failure.

    And I am not. I am not a failure.

    I just failed today.

    And I can try again tomorrow.

    And so can you. You can cross off one more thing from your list you didn’t get done tomorrow. Or next week.

    You can spend 10 less minutes on your phone, even if you hoped it would be an hour.

    You can simply sort the laundry, and wait until tomorrow to actually start a load.

    And still be successful.

    Because you are not failing.

    You are human. Sure you have some tough days. Sure to want to throw out your check list. Sure to feel that all is going wrong. And everything is crumbling. Sure to feel like you have failed a time or two. Or three.

    But surely….never a failure.

    We all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Romans 3:23

  • , ,

    His first best friend

    There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

    “You’re his best friend. That’s why.”

    I looked at my curly-headed son, a little confused, and asked him how so…this response was what he exclaimed: “Well, duh! Because you are mine!”

    But how could I be? I was his mom. I technically wasn’t supposed to be in the friend category. Plus…dude, you are 11. I can’t be friends with an 11 year old.

    Until he said this: “You know, because I can tell you my worries, and they don’t seem so big. I can tell you secrets, and I know you won’t share them. And you love me, even when I am mad.”

    And isn’t that what we all want from our friends?

    The unfortunate reality is that too many lonely people are settling for those who don’t do any of the things my little mentioned.

    They hang onto people who expose their secrets. Who constantly leave them in a state of worry. Who won’t forgive them for the things they do when they are angry. Who make them feel inadequate, unloved, and unwelcome.

    Yet, they continue to call them “best friend.” Or sometimes even “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” Simply because they NEED someone. Anyone. Even if it is someone who makes them feel lousy.

    While I know my son is well aware of the limits and boundaries I have set as a momma, I am honored he feels I am his trusted, loving, and accepting best friend.

    That he sees qualities in me that he knows others see as well.

    And as he navigates his own friendships and (well into the future) relationships later on, I pray he remembers his first best friend.

  • ,

    Are you “nuts” every day?

    There are three things that amaze me-no, four things I don’t understand; how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman. Proverbs 30:18-19

    Yes. A card. With the word “nuts” on it.

    And you know what. Many would say it’s to be expected after 14 years (well almost 14, but at some point you don’t count). But me? I laughed. For a while actually.

    In the spirit of ole Dr. Suess:

    I hate Valentine’s Day. The whole Valentine’s season. Some may think I am lame, but I know the reason. It isn’t because my heart is too small. It is actually one of the biggest of all. Maybe it’s because as a young one she would sit, hoping with all her might, that she would be the recipient of those hand-delivered roses wrapped in Valentine’s delight.

    Yep. I never got flowers in middle school. I never got cards. Not even one with the word “nuts” on it.

    But really…this day shouldn’t be about those things at all.

    My husband didn’t change who he was for some sappy holiday. This card? It is simply him. Every day. More so, I wasn’t expecting anything to be waiting for me today. Not because we don’t celebrate. Not because I am a Valentine’s grinch. We do typical family style things. Valentines bingo. Heart shaped food. But, we also think of each other daily. He picks up “treats” from the store just because. I didn’t need a holiday to prove he loved me.

    I didn’t need sappy words written in a card, because they are spoken daily, and yes…sometimes they sound more like what is on the card I got.

    I didn’t need a box of chocolates because I get the love I need daily. And none of that love comes from anything that can be wrapped in pretty heart shaped paper.

    I no longer need some friend to bring a carnation from my beloved that proves someone loves me. I know he does.

    My point is this:

    Love isn’t born in a day.

    It isn’t expressed on one solo day of the year. And it doesn’t change who it is to impress its love interest.

    It doesn’t speak words it wouldn’t speak on the daily. Act any differently. Treat you any differently. It doesn’t have to walk down to the office and purchase a carnation to make you feel special in front of all your classmates.

    It’s the same on that one day as it was yesterday. As it will be tomorrow.

    Because if it’s nuts about you. Well it is daily. Even if you drive each other nuts.

    Even if you never get sent a single flower. You still know…well, those “nuts” are yours.

About Me

I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.

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