Hello, I’m January

Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.

  • Let There Be Light: Hope in the Darkness

    Advent.

    I’ll be real with you. I didn’t grow up in church, attending services all through the Christmas season as a kid. So as an adult, when I began attending in my late 20’s, advent appeared ritualistic in nature to me. Hear me out…I understand the meaning of Christmas. But the lighting of all the candles, the Scriptures read? I never understood their purpose or place in the whole celebration. I guess it was expected that I should. However, I didn’t know what these practices and rituals had to do with Christ and his birth. Even more confusing, was what I was supposed to do with the candle-lighting, and those verses. How did they apply?

    As I dive deeper into His Word, searching it daily for where He is leading me-I discovered something as I started to read the “ritual” advent devotionals. I discovered that just like Thanksgiving, advent isn’t just a season, it’s a way of life.

    The whole reason we focus on advent this time of year is, yes, to celebrate the birth of our Savior, but more importantly to remember and reflect on what that means to us, for us today, and how we are to respond.

    Essentially, the word “advent” means “coming.” Sure. It is a season of remembrance for the day Christ came into the world, to reflect on how he lives in the world today, and a reminder to be living in expectation of his return. His second coming.

    But shouldn’t we live in this expectancy every day? He could come back at ANY time. Certainly we should live daily as if we are ready.

    The first candle lit traditionally on the advent wreath is the candle of hope. Hope in a Messiah who will save from sins. Hope in His return. It’s also known as the “prophecy candle,” the hope that God will fulfill His promises. A promise that there is light and hope in darkness.

    Yet, even during Christmas evil doesn’t rest. It may even seem that during the long, cold days of winter that stretch on and on, things become darker. Add the holiday season, its feelings of loneliness and sorrow that can come along, and light can be hard to see. Greed abounds due to the hustle and bustle to shop, shop, shop; and statistically even crime often soars, as the desperate attempt to meet the demands of the secular “season” become too much for some to bear.

    If there is anything we need now more than ever, especially as we continue to fight a virus we hoped would be gone by now-it is light. Hope. The hope that in all this darkness and despair, a light would appear.

    Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 1:15 of the source and assurance of this hope and light: This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners,” and I am the worst of them all.

    In terms of hope and overcoming darkness, our hope lies in the promise of a saving grace. Salvation through the birth, and later death of Christ that returns us to the “good” God originally intended for us. Because our story of hope actually begins where “good” began-at creation. God created man and woman; humans as good, in His image, and without blemish. The Garden of Eden was intended to be a place of light, of His security, until evil entered in, and was not only accepted, but grasped ahold of, and sunk its teeth into goodness and light.

    Evil exists because of the free will of humans. The choice made by Satan’s temptation, and God was forthcoming in what would occur as a result, stating the consequences in Genesis 3:16-19:

    He told the Woman:
    “I’ll multiply your pains in childbirth;
        you’ll give birth to your babies in pain.
    You’ll want to please your husband,
        but he’ll lord it over you.”

    He told the Man:
    “Because you listened to your wife
        and ate from the tree
    That I commanded you not to eat from,
        ‘Don’t eat from this tree,’
    The very ground is cursed because of you;
        getting food from the ground
    Will be as painful as having babies is for your wife;
        you’ll be working in pain all your life long.
    The ground will sprout thorns and weeds,
        you’ll get your food the hard way,
    Planting and tilling and harvesting,
        sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk (MSG)

    Conflict. Between man and woman. Parent and child. Pain. Suffering. Struggle. Life, essentially, would NOT be easy.

    But God made another promise as well: Satan would be crushed, and He would provide restoration for our brokenness.

    “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17, NLT

    This is our hope. Our light in the darkness. It’s how God intends to overcome evil, and we get to choose if we are going to let the light in, or continue to be consumed by the darkness.

    What do you choose? Do you want the light of the world? The hope that resides in knowing a Savior? You can…simply choose Him today.


  • You Never Know Who’s Talking to Jesus About You

    It’s not a conversation I was expecting. After preaching my first “main worship” sermon in what turned out to be a rough couple of years, I should have expected most anything at this point. 

    I had just spoken about the power of prayer. The call to pray for those who had hurt us. Even if we never get an apology. Even if we never see them again. To always answer the call to pray through the anger. To pray for God to forgive anything we did, and forgive them, too. 

    I expected a comment on how prayer had worked in this person’s life. I knew we had drifted in our own relationship. Through the years we weren’t as close. Ministry priorities had taken us in different places, but I never expected to hear this: 

    “You know I prayed for you, too. I prayed for you everyday.”

    I hide many things. I must not have been hiding some. They knew I needed prayer. Because there were times in my dark periods I didn’t think God was listening to me, but maybe He wasn’t…because He was listening and answering their prayers for me. 

    It was just what I needed to hear to confirm my belief that prayer is powerful, even if we can’t see the fruit of what we pray for right away. Even if we don’t know exactly why God may be asking us to pray for someone, we do it anyway. Because He knows we will, and He knows what they need. He will provide it at just the right time. We don’t give up the asking. Even if we don’t feel like it-we pray anyway. 

    We never know exactly who may be praying for us. It may just surprise you. 

    I heard this song a couple months ago, and I stopped to play it over and over as I headed to work. It speaks to the legacy that I want to leave-of a woman who people knew talked to Jesus. I want people to see it. To see and know its power and be inspired to do the same. 

    You may find yourself, after preaching your heart out on a Sunday morning, finding that without you knowing for sometime…someone was praying for you. 

    I do not own the rights to this video or music.

  • Are you a “bumper sticker” Christian?

    I had some extra time between counseling placements. Rare time. Shuffling between many different schools and offices means a ton of driving time, and less time to actually run the errands I need to get done to make these sessions (and home life) a success. Less than 1 mile to my intended destination. 1 mile. Should take about 10 min. To get to where I needed to be. To get that last errand complete before the mad dash to the next spot I needed to be. With some time to spare.

    I wasn’t in a huge hurry. I wanted to relish this time I didn’t often get, and so I must have zoned out right before that light turned green. Or so the loud blare from the beeping behind me let me know.

    And I must have certainly been in some kind of euphoric mood to completely misunderstand that the lady who backed into the space in the parking lot, wasn’t backing in-she was trying to turn around. In the middle of the parking lot. Her cursing and middle finger salute should have told me I was completely misunderstanding her intentions.

    Everyone was in such a hurry, and was just truly so mean about it, that the encounter with the backed-in lady nearly brought me to tears.

    How could this type of temper and anger be our norm in our daily interactions, even in traffic? But I recalled a time when I used to be the same way. Giving people that same salute, and yelling at them when they cut me off, didn’t use a turn signal or drove too slow. I am a reformed road-rager.

    The power perceived when receiving that first set of keys is amazing. There is an independence and a freedom that comes from being able to freely get in and go where one wants. A power that often takes control of our choices, and even our interactions.

    But there are rules.

    There is also power in anger. Its strength can be amazing. It can move people to act. Break rules.

    It can also be damaging. Damaging to your witness.

    I drive a yellow vehicle. My personalized license plate announces my trust in Him. I have stickers on the back professing the power of the cross, and letting drivers know that it is Jesus before myself. But if I start to act sideways in that car, I could damage any view others have of Christ.

    I can put all the pretty stickers I want on that automobile, but if I drive it with anger and hate in the drivers seat, those stickers are well….just decorations. Nice things to look at. Nothing more than a bumper sticker.

    And I don’t want to be a “bumper sticker” Christian. I want to be truly like Him, at all times. Including when confronted in a dollar store parking lot.

    So, how did I handle that finger-flicking rager. I simply waved. I rolled into my spot, and as she blew off in a tizzy, I prayed for her. For her safety; and that of the kids in the back seat. Prayed her kids didn’t witness this, and prayed that once she got to her destination, more than likely frazzled and angered; that she met Jesus there in someone else. That her encounter with me wasn’t the last one with Him.

    This is how we become more than just mere “bumper stickers.”


  • I Won’t Give Up

    I went on a decluttering and cleaning spree the last couple weeks. All in an effort to get the Christmas decorations up. In my sorting I came across the vision board I put together at the beginning of the year. One I had put together with pictures and notes of things I had a desire to accomplish. To finally start and finish.

    I had come out of a dark time. When I sat down and began to dream dreams. Those placed on my heart some time ago, and never finished; I knew I was not going to let anything stop me from using my voice. My gifts. My talents.

    For pursuing and working in the purpose He had for me.

    Circumstances may keep us from completing our mission. People may even try. But here is the truth:

    And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28, NLT

    God. God calls us. God will continue to work through you despite the circumstances or roadblocks put before you.

    God does that.

    I can do all things
    Through Christ who gives me strength
    So keep on saying I won’t
    And I’ll keep proving you wrong -“Say I Won’t,”MercyMe

    This song was one I played over and over as I came out of that dark place. Out of the place man may have placed me in. Over the roadblocks put in my way. The circumstances that had me believing that He had finished working through me.

    He hasn’t yet. And he hasn’t finished with you. Keep moving. Keep dreaming dreams. And allowing Him to use you. Tell those who think you don’t have what it takes, or that God hasn’t given you strength to continue that you won’t give up until His work is done.

    I do not own the rights to video or music.

  • It’s All About the Heart

    “Yes, she is a pastor.”

    “Oh, really? I never would have guessed that.”

    This was the response received in the cabinet section at the local home improvement store. The comment made when my husband advised the sweet lady of my second “vocation.” It wasn’t the first time I had been told this. It was a comment I heard as I got one of my many tattoos. A comment I hear quite often, actually.

    This time, I simply smiled. Went about the cabinet selection business with manners and kindness, but on my way home began to wonder, What exactly is a pastor supposed to “look” like?

    Since for me the Bible is my standard for living, and the place I turn to for guidance, I looked for Scriptural evidence that pointed to some means of dress or appearance that pastoral staff should adhere to. Some likeness that a pastor should possess. Was it dress? Was it appearance? Was it how they wore their hair? Jewelry? What is it?

    First, I went to the reference many use when determining “appropriate” dress for clergy, especially that of women. Now. Let’s be real. We critique the dress of women far more than we ever do men. How their hair is worn. Whether it is long or short. Too much makeup, or not enough. Choice of clothes. Body types. We do not do this to men, or nearly as often. So, here we go:

    And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. 1 Timothy 2:9-10, NLT

    However, this is mostly taken out of context, because anytime we use Scripture to make a point, or when trying to determine what God says on a subject, we must also take into account the historical and contextual evidence at the time as well. Paul was not talking to EVERY woman. He was talking to those who were placing their value in material things. In expensive jewels and clothes. It had nothing to do with dress. It had nothing to do with hair.

    To clear this up, look at The Message version: And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.

    Paul is saying, “Be holy. Do the work of God, and stop worrying about your appearance. You will be beautiful, because you are working for Him, not because you dress a certain way.”

    We don’t get this message because we focus on appearance. Our human nature is to focus on what is outside. We focus on hair. We focus on clothes. We focus on jewelry. Someone’s home. Cars. Jobs. And yes, even tattoos.

    When what God focuses on…is none of those things.

    So what a pastor “looks” like, pours from that-his or her heart.

    A pastor looks like Jesus. Not in appearance. Because I look nothing like him in physical appearance. But I do in heart. In action. In speech. In how I love on others. How I work for justice. How I forgive. How I help. How I use my voice.

    Because I remember also hearing this when I told someone I had become a pastor: “That doesn’t seem too far-fetched. You were always taking up for the less than when we were younger.”

    Back then, I didn’t look much different. My hair was a different shade. It still had the same unruly curls. I had no tattoos. I didn’t dress in the same way as my peers. I wore big earrings. I didn’t speak differently than I do now. I had the same dialect, and at times…well, I was loud. I spoke up with passion that was seen as anger. And, well…I may now have better word choices-but at the core, the personality is still the same. The same hair adorns my head in a different shade. I have tattoos. And my dialect is still strong. My voice still loud, passionate, and dying to be heard when speaking for those whose voices aren’t asked to be at the table. I am still the same young girl, just not ruled by the desires of the world. I still look like her, I just love like Him.

    That, my friends, is what a pastor “looks” like.

    They “look” like one called to reach the least of these. With the personality and gifts God has created in them. They “look” like their Jesus. With the love to reach those who need to know that they too are loved for who God created them to be. Not who the world thinks they should “look” like.

    They may just “look” like me.


About Me

I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.

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