Encouragement grounded in Scripture
Rooted in truth. Anchored in Christ.
New reflections weekly.
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Love God, Love People…But Yourself?
Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31, NLT
You can’t love anyone else unless you love yourself. There are a number of variations of this quote. Often used to promote self-love and acceptance, and honor one’s self-worth. The idea of self-love, however, also has gotten a lot of criticism among evangelicals. Why? Self-love is selfish. Another often used quote. Arguing the idea that the concept of self-love is unholy, ungodly, and borne of selfish desire and conceit.
I disagree.
Let me offer another perspective.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed. Psalm 139:14-16, NLTWhat is described above is a labor of love. A love so immense it cannot be put into words. It is something not found in the world. That cannot be recreated. God desires that we know this about ourselves. He desires that we know the care He took in making all our unique parts. All our talents. That we celebrate all the ways we are complex, and not like any other-before the world tells us we are broken, different, not enough, and too much of something. He desires that we know we are loved, before the world tells us we are unloveable. We cannot know this without knowing just how much we are loved by God. We must know the kind of love He has for us, and love all the ways in which He has made us. In turn, love ourselves.
Because we can’t pour out love to anyone, explain this immense love to others, that we don’t even have or understand for our own selves.
The self-love that others criticize so fervently is really what is referred to as “self-made.” This term indicates that one is “made by one’s own actions.” That everything someone has, whether it is their character, their success, their talents-they did that all on their own. They are the lord of their life, not God. And this is the self-love the “world” screams of-not the self-love that God desires.
He does desire that we love ourselves first, in the way He loves us. In the ways He made us. Remembering that He provided us with the talents, the strength, the gifts. That none of our success is possible without Him.
When we understand this-then we can go out, and REALLY love on others. In the way Jesus did.
Love God. Love yourself (because it’s biblical), and love others like God loves you!
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In the Isolation, He is There
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky, above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
I miss actual faces. I miss too loud, too rambunctious lunch groups that half the time never settle down. I miss telling preteens to get their “junk” together. I miss getting up, getting in my vehicle, and going to work. I miss being able to work. I miss the joy of a Saturday morning stroll through Target, Starbucks in hand. I miss conversations that occur over tables with food, and not Facetime with headphones. I love my home and the people in it, but I miss the outside world around me. -May 2020
Isolation. Separation. Cut off from people, places, and routines that were familiar. To enter into a world of unknowns. The sentiments expressed in what I journaled on some morning in 2020, I can only imagine could have been the thoughts of almost anyone during our time of quarantine and lockdown. Almost 2 years later, we probably still feel like this. It’s a grief that is complicated and not easy to understand, because we and the people we love are alive, but something has died. We mourn our previous way of life, yet, no one really knows how to help us through the mourning. We are all doing it together, in whatever ways we can manage.
Separation. Isolation. Grief.
We may feel abandoned. By people. By society. By disease. By our jobs.
Cut off. Lonely. Misunderstood. Uncertain.
Here’s some truth: A pandemic forced us to separate from our normal day to day routines. From people. From places. We may have lost some of these places. Some of the people in them due to circumstances, or the impact of the pandemics toll.
But even these-the changes, and this separation-it cannot separate us from God.
Jobs may have been lost. But He was there. Friends may have left. Ghosted. Passed. But He remained. Routines. People. Places all may have changed. God stayed the same.
And His love does, too.
In our isolation. In our despair. In our loneliness, even when we separate ourselves from Him-His love for us does not fail. He doesn’t leave. His love remains.
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More Than Words
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. I Corinthians 13:1-2, MSG
Love is more than words.
These are the words on the sign that sits above our TV. A sign. A big joke with our kids-mom’s love of signs with phrases and sayings, slathered all around the house. When we shop, the common refrain is, “You don’t need another sign!”
But this one, it had a purpose. A meaning. It was bought to represent a journey in this home. A reminder to all of us. That words at times were meaningless. Especially if they were hard to express.
Love is more than words.
Our son, Hunter, was diagnosed with autism before the age of 3. For many years, words were very hard for him, especially words that expressed any kind of feeling. Emotions did not come out in eloquent speech, but rather kicks, screams, and grunts. While there are many conversations these days in which I wonder if he will stop talking, those are courtesy of many hours of speech therapy, and years of early intervention services.
One thing was always certain.
He can’t at times say he is simply hungry. He has a hard time expressing worry. Anger. Sadness. But he knows the language of love. Without words. And we in turn have learned it, too.
It is expressed in the endurance it takes to sit through one of his tantrums. The patience. The understanding. Knowing it is nothing personal. It is just the internal battle in this kid’s system.
It is in the way he gives. He is a giver. He has spent his last dollar at the school book fair, so his sister can have something, too. Bringing home a poster for her room. Her favorite at the time. Unicorns.
It is in the hugs. Though he can’t always speak love, he can feel love. He is a cuddler, and has been since the beginning. A child who has always craved touch. A bear hug. A deep back rub. A squeeze to calm him down and let him know he is OK.
It is in the patience it takes at times to practice the things that come easier to others. Jumping rope for instance. For several nights in a living room, because balance issues are a thing, too. Anxiety runs in tandem, and jumping rope wasn’t second nature. Using words to teach this lesson wouldn’t do the trick.
Love is more than these.
Words are often superfluous. Used as fillers. Used to tout knowledge. Used at times to get one’s way. Feed desires. Sometimes deceive. They can mean a variety of things. Be taken out of context. And I am saying this as a writer!
For someone who takes them literally, like Hunter, words can be difficult. The action of love-not so much.
Do your words line up with your actions? If you had to experience a life without the use of language, or a different understanding of the use of it, how would your expression of love measure up? Would you be a rusty gate?
Love. It’s more than just words. It’s the small things we do each and every day.
How are you doing when you don’t use words?
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On Trend: Love
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14
The teen years. It’s a rite of passage. And if you, as we are, are raising a teen; it can also be a day by day struggle to build a healthy sense of self. How exactly? Well, as it is with adults at times, what you wear, and how you present yourself to the world…well, it determines your social status. Put on the wrong pair of pants, and you could just be the laughing stock of the entire school! How embarrassing!
Paul in Colossians 3 discusses a different type of dress. One that has nothing to do with the outward appearance that we seem to be so obsessed with. As he mentions in verse 14, the most important part of this outfit is love. He lists it as the one thing that binds everything together.
How true this is.
Without love we cannot wear patience and mercy. We simply don’t have the capacity to do so. To extend these virtues out to others who get on our nerves or hurt us.
Without God’s love, we also don’t have the desire to remove our sin clothing. Those outfits that simply don’t belong in our closets anymore when we begin to walk with Christ. Those garments such as anger, lust, and greed. We have no use for them anymore. It’s time to purge them to make more room for the love God desires we wear instead.
Look, we could put on the trendiest outfit, but not put on love, and walk around with a downright rusty, crusty heart. The world may be satisfied, but God wouldn’t be.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather someone judge my ‘fit harshly, and see a heart that reflects God.
His outfit is the only one that is worthy of wearing. His is the only ‘fit that’s gonna get you His Kingdom garments.
Clothe yourselves with love.
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As He Has Loved You
This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. John 15:12
There are ten commandments provided by God. Spoken through Moses. Then there is the commandment given by Jesus, not canceling the first ten; but making them all possible to do.
Through love.
In John 15, Jesus is speaking to his disciples. This isn’t one of his many lessons or parables he was teaching throughout his ministry. This was THE message. His last to them before he would sacrifice himself for them. Display the ultimate act of love.
Is Jesus instructing us to die for others? Not necessarily. He is asking us to make sacrifices for others in order to demonstrate his love. To give up our own desires. To deny ourselves. Not our values, but our pleasures.
How do we love as Jesus loved us?
We encourage. We speak kind words to others, over others, and about others. We walk away from gossip and conversations that seek to tear others down.
We listen. We don’t always need to have the answer or last word. We don’t even have to agree. But we can simply be an ear for someone who needs to be heard.
We help and we give. Of our time. Our resources. Our talents. Our wisdom. We don’t keep these things to ourselves, and for our own personal success and gain, but to give to others. And sometimes this means we have to give up something “fun,” to be Jesus to someone.
We forgive. We don’t have to die to offer forgiveness. Nor do we have to continue to allow abuse and disrespect. We do have to pray. For the salvation of those who hurt us. For our hearts to heal. Then we move on. Loving from afar, with this in mind: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)
That’s what Jesus did, and it is what we are called to do.
Go out and love like Jesus-today, tomorrow, and the next day. Just as he loves you!
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.
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