Hello, I’m January
Inspiration and thoughts on God and faith, written by a simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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one word: acceptance
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Surrender. My word for 2016. A word that challenged me to let go. And while I did drop off some baggage in the form of thoughts, practices, and even people; there is something telling me that I still have a ways to go on this journey.
As I reflected on the past year. The chaos. The times I felt attacked. Uncertain. The many days I walked around dazed, all because I was carrying too many of my own burdens, and attempting to lug the baggage of others around, I realized an important truth.
With surrender must come acceptance. Once I let go, I have to be willing to accept that I laid down that burden. Never to be picked up again.
Acceptance of the ups and downs. Knowing that each blessing. Each trial is the divine work of God.
Acceptance of my flaws. Understanding that I am not perfect, but “made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Accepting that others are not perfect either. Realizing these flaws are what makes us vulnerable. What makes us crave the power of a savior.
Accepting that not everyone will get me. Support me. Even like me. Knowing that it doesn’t matter. Since God always loves me. Knows all the traits others don’t “get,” and accepts me as I am-depsite what may bug others.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you. John 15:7
Acceptance of differences. Being willing to explore a different opinion. Engage in a conversation with someone who may not have the same views. Realizing our differences, and our ability to see past them is what makes human relationship so sacred. So beautiful.
In doing this, I will also accept that some may not value my differences. May judge my choices. My parenting style. My words. My actions. Learning to shake it off, and instead walk in empathy with others, when others may not show it to me.
I will take defeat. Embrace failure. Accept it as an opportunity to grow, to become humble in my weakness. Relinquish the pride that comes with being successful and right all the time.
Accept the situations I cannot change. The people I can’t change. Recognizing God’s will is more important than my desire to “fix” all that I see is wrong. Relinquishing control to the only one who can change circumstances. Hearts. Minds.
Accepting that life is messy. Ministry is messy. Parenting is messy. And, people….yes, they are, too. Accepting that it’s not my job to “clean-up” this mess. Instead, taking in all its glory. Recognizing the beauty in all that is not neat and tidy.
And, accepting that my home may be a mess. Void of neat and tidy. Knowing that as long as those that inhabit it are happy. Loving each other. Enjoying each other. That it doesn’t matter if the bookcases are dusty. The counters are crumby. Or the carpets are dirty.
Accepting me. All that makes me who I am. My personality. My body. My pet peeves. My past. My wants. Desires. Dreams. Even if others can’t handle it. I will accept the woman He has called me to be.
This year I will accept the mundane. The chaos. The beautiful. The ugly. Those that are different. Those that love me, and those that don’t. The messy, and the neat.
Whatever He throws my way. Whatever His will.
Acceptance.
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after the decorations are gone
The days after Christmas. Memories of the laughter. The time spent with family. The remnants of gifts not yet put away. The lazy days. The leftovers. Naps. Netflix. The promise of a new year.
With this promise each year also comes the burning desire to reclaim the space in my house. Get back into my 10 and a half month routine. Everything in its place again. Time to rid my house of the Christmas glamour for one more year.
Usually this need to reclaim my territory fuels me. Sends me on a cleaning frenzy. But, this year was different. If it wasn’t for our choice of fresh fir, and the limp, dying branches that forced me to take the soon to be fire hazard of a tree down, all our shiny and glistening decorations would have just stayed.
As I packed up every ornament. Every tinsel wreath. Beaded garland. Dancing Santa. I had a thought.
Shouldn’t the spirit of Christmas, and the Christ child born on this day live all year long? Is the Christmas “spirit” really only reserved to one month a year. To a plethora of shiny decorations?
Certainly it couldn’t be! There must be something we can do to make sure that spirit remains here. Lives in this home. Lives in us as we carry out a usual routine for the remainder of these months.
But, how?
Well, it can begin with hope.
This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Hebrews 6:19
After the expectation of those wondrous gifts. After the anticipation of Christmas Eve night. Still lives the hope that His promises will be fulfilled. Living each day knowing, expecting, anticipating His faithfulness. His strength. The promise that even though some days in the new year may be hard, we KNOW, and EXPECT that there is hope in the days to come. Bringing a promise of glorious days with Him in Heaven.
It can continue with peace.
“I have told you all this that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But, take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
It is not letting the stress, worries, and anxieties of living in this broken and rushed world cause our hearts to be troubled. It’s letting go and feeling relief. It’s choosing calm over the chaos that claims to measure success. It’s being still and rejoicing in Him, even when life gets crazy. It’s living in harmony with each other, even when we don’t agree. It’s accepting our flaws, and those of others unapologetically.
The spirit of the blessed babe can live on past Christmas day with joy.
You will live in joy and peace. The mountain and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Isaiah 55:12
The spirit of Christmas doesn’t live in packages and bows. It’s not the blessings under the tree that give joy after all the decorations are gone. Happiness doesn’t live in those boxes. It lives in the laughter of your kids on a family game night. It lives in the songs of praise raised to Him on Sunday morning. It lives in the full heart as you snuggle with a small child. It lives in the praise that escapes your lips for everything He has done. For the small things. For the blessings He has given that can’t hide under a tree. All He has promised. Made happen in your life. Not just on Christmas Day, but everyday.
And finally, how do we continue to show the spirit of love?
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” John 15:12
Despite flaws. Despite differences. Despite who has “wronged” you. It’s being patient with the lady in front of you with too many items in the express lane. The driver that cut you off. The colleague that always comes in late. Talks to much. Does something too much. It’s remembering that once the ball has dropped. The last song has been sung. The clock signals the beginning of a new year, to be kind to each person we meet, not just those in our “circle.” It is responding with kind words, not words to tear down. It’s praying for our enemies, and those who have hurt us. It is forgiving and choosing to show mercy those that make is angry, frustrate us, and make our eyes roll. It’s reaching out our hands to life the fallen, and expecting nothing in return. Loving as He has loved us.
It is extending this love past the month of December.
And choosing to reflect the Christ child. His love. His light. His everlasting spirit.
After the lights have come down. The gifts have all been opened. The decorations are all gone.
All year long.
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Blessings in the midst of weeds
So let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
Dandelions. Those wispy flowers that can grow in the most unlikely of places. One which most see as only a common pest. A weed. Yet, to another a sign of joy and happiness in the dark and dreary mountain of obstacles in our way. A blessing for the one who chooses to stop and take in its overlooked beauty.
The dandelion is also said to be a symbol of perseverance. However, often in the midst of walking in the gardens we nourish as ministers of His word, we may lose sight of the beauty before us. All we see are the weeds.
Sometimes in the middle of doing, planning, and being the hands and feet we are called to be as ministers of His love and grace, it can be hard to see the lives and people who have been touched by it. Instead it seems all we have encountered is one more battle, uphill climb, or discouragement after another.
Enough to want to give up.
In my role as a children’s pastor, the fruit of all the seeds planted weekly can be tough to see peeking through that soil. When you can see the flowers sprouting physically before your eyes, having fun, smiling, and reciting verses and stories taught to them over the years, there are also times when it is difficult to see through the weeds of disobedience, disconnect, and complacency that plagues this garden, too. The weeds that grow around carefully planned lessons and programs to hopefully encourage them to engage and draw closer to God, seem to only grow taller among criticism, “should have done this that ways, and “could have done that betters.”
Some days it is hard to see the blessing over the weeds. Some days you start to desperately look for an exit. But, you continue to say “yes.” Be obedient, anyway.
And, I continued to be obedient to Him as I made calls, texts, and emails to schedule gift delivery again this year for our annual participation in the Angel Tree ministry. As I watched all the gifts trickle in. Saw them all pretty and wrapped in front of the tree. Ready to bless families of those behind bars. I began to see the weeds again. The calls not returned. The preparation. The work. The late nights. The discouragement of those who just couldn’t offer redemption. Planting seeds of love and grace I was certain I would never see bloom.
The weeds grew taller. I wanted to give up. Maybe even not sign-up next year. I couldn’t see through the weeds, and I needed an exit.
Some blessings can’t be seen over those weeds. But, you get up. Show up, because He says to. You continue to say “yes.” To be obedient.
You work in that garden once again, and finally you see it. The blessing. In the flesh. Standing before you. Blessing you.
As I reached for the gifts for those who had come to take them home to their children, I realized what stood in front of me was what I would have missed if I had stopped being obedient. If I had let the weeds stop me from doing His will.
Here was the gentleman we had been showing hope. Here was the woman we had been blessing through it all. Whose kids we reached out to each year. Blessing me.
Thank God He removed those weeds.
So, if you two happen to be reading this. Thanks for being obedient. For bringing encouragement to a minister who was deeply discouraged. For reminding me that His light and grace does shine through all those weeds in this garden. That redemption is real and standing here right before us.
You are the blessing in those weeds. Thanks for reminding me of the reason I continue to say “yes.”
So, to anyone stuck in a garden you have sowed, over and over. Unable to see your harvest because the weeds of doubt, insecurity, envy, and fatigue are too tall-I pray this Christmas you will be given a dandelion of hope among those weeds. That you are blessed by something or someone that helps you see past the muck. That encourages you to continue to say “yes” to God. To continue, even when you want to give up.
And, if you have been blessed by someone-return it. Show them the grace, love and hope given to you. Bursting forth among all those weeds.
“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back-given back with bonus and blessing. Luke 6:38, MSG
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His Will, Not Mine
This boy…the one this post was written about is 8 today. It was 8 years ago on Thanksgiving that we bought this guy home for the first time. And, I am ever so thankful, even through the pain and heartache, that God’s will is always better than mine.
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3
I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had just found out the news. I remember thinking to myself- How could this be? This was not part of the plan! This can’t be right! Two lines? Yep, there are definitely two of them-two VERY blue lines, in fact. My then 10 month old daughter was running in and out of the bathroom, and then it hit me. I’m pregnant! Again!
So, I did what any woman does who has waited for those blue lines to appear. I did what any woman does while waiting for a test to seal their fate. I did what any woman does when she finds out she is going to have a baby. You guessed it!
I sat on the bathroom floor-and cried!
I cried for the daughter I…
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faith that drives out storms of fear
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1, NIV
Fear. It can be a crippling emotion. Whether it is fear that stems from a previous brush with danger we never really got over. Or an irrational fear, we all have them.
Some of us are terrified of fire. While I am fascinated by the flicker of a flame as a candle burns, the thought of that flame getting out of control and consuming my home is an irrational fear of mine.
Some have a fear of bugs. Snakes. Anything that creeps and crawls.
Fears of heights. Planes. Elevators. Crowds. Clowns. The dark.
And then there is the fear of storms. Those that may rage in the night. That produce booms that shake us awake. Or the storms that rage in our lives and just turn things upside down.
Then he got into the the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:23-26, NIV
Yes, even the disciples were afraid. Even the men who spent so much time with Jesus, had watched him drive out demons, had witnessed many come to faith in God, heal the sick, even one of the disciples own, yet they still had little faith in Jesus ability to calm their fears in the midst of their storm.
See, we too are often afraid to give up control of the oars. We fear that if we let go, we will stop steering our boat on its own course and will sink and fail.
He knows our fears. He knows our brokenness and our human emotions. He is OK with all of that. He expects that when we steer through these storms. Encounter our fires. Our snakes. Our heights. That we will still have that shaky feeling in the pit of our stomach that tells us something we dread is up ahead.
And, while we may have a sinking feeling in our stomach, we also have something else to sustain us through these trials and storms as well. The spirit that resides in us. The one placed in us when we put our trust and faith in the one who is captain of our ship.
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
We simply have to put our trust in him. To let him pick up the oar. Guide us through the storm. Give us the peace that will overcome that bottomless pit of dread that may threaten to overcome us. To drive out the fear that threatens to drown us, and that will guide us safely to shore.
About Me
I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God; and I am also on some days a hot mess. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic.
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Grace 'n Grounds 