Grace 'n Grounds

Encouragement Grounded in His Truth

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  • Your fear is lying to you

    I remember the last time I got on a roller coaster before I declared them off-limits for me. I used to love them. The twisty, the better. So what made me stop? What made me walk around with this irrational fear of them? Nothing has ever happened to me on one. No known tragedy related to them that triggered this boycott.

    No. None of those.

    I simply got on one, and felt like I had lost control. Of my body. My voice. My ability to choose. I couldn’t escape the stupid thing as my stomach was dropping. And when I screamed-well nothing happened. The ride just continued.

    I swore them off for over 10 years. I had vowed never to feel that “out of control” again.

    Have teenagers at an amusement park with you, and you will likely begin to dissect things you firmly held onto for years, because they challenge EVERYTHING! Your irrational fears are not off limits.

    Which means I was not immune from being challenged by my teen daughter to get on not one, but two coasters while we were at a local amusement park. Deal was…she got to pick which one.

    I could have said no. I mean. I’m the adult. I’m in charge. But was my fear of them irrational? Was I missing out on opportunities to spend time with her because something about the big metal contraptions that fling your body into the air was triggering long (what I thought buried) trauma?

    The Lord is my light and my salvation—
        so why should I be afraid?
    The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
        so why should I tremble? Psalm 27:1, NLT

    So, I did it. And what happened? I was fine. There was still screaming, my stomach still dropped to my shoes, but I was fine. I had fun, even. I faced my fear. Completed the task. And I was not harmed. I survived.

    Just like I have with so many other fears.

    We hold onto our irrational fears, because they provide comfort. Most of all they provide a sense of control. We believe we can’t control the outcome. We can’t control the reactions. We can’t control whether we will succeed. So we hold onto that thing we just won’t do. Say. Achieve. Until our fears control us.

    Which is exactly where our enemy wants us to be.

    He wants us to stay paralyzed and stuck. Satan will dangle our fears in front of us so we stay stuck in our past pains, hurts, and traumas. He convinces us that no one cares. You have no voice. You have no say. He whispers that your screams will go unheard. That you will never escape your past hurts. Satan convinces us to live in fear so we never fulfill God’s purposes in us, and Satan is lying to you.

    Healing comes when we hand those fears to God. The One who provides the strength to help us conquer them.

    He won’t let us fall. He won’t let us lose control, because He is ultimately in control. He always listens. Always hears. Nothing and no one will harm us because He is our shelter and our safety. He is our peace when our fears try to take control.

    “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” Luke 14:27

    Is there a fear you are having trouble overcoming, because your desire to control your present, your past, your future have taken over? Or because you are holding onto some hurt from the past? Give your fear to Him. Ask Him to take control. Ask Him to provide you with strength and power to overcome and move forward-either facing it head on, or healing from the thing that caused that fear.

    He will provide safety. And the only peace that will ease our hearts, and take control.

  • On finding acceptance in an old hometown

    Hometowns. They can bring such feelings of security. Safety. The feeling of being at home. But there’s a flip side. Those hometowns often become the place we never feel at home. Not accepted. Only remembered for all the mistakes you made. A person you likely are not anymore

    Jesus was no stranger to being rejected by His own hometown.

    He left there and returned to his hometown. His disciples came along. On the Sabbath, he gave a lecture in the meeting place. He stole the show, impressing everyone. “We had no idea he was this good!” they said. “How did he get so wise all of a sudden, get such ability?”But in the next breath they were cutting him down: “He’s just a carpenter—Mary’s boy. We’ve known him since he was a kid. We know his brothers, James, Justus, Jude, and Simon, and his sisters. Who does he think he is?” They tripped over what little they knew about him and fell, sprawling. And they never got any further. Jesus told them, “A prophet has little honor in his hometown, among his relatives, on the streets he played in as a child.” Jesus wasn’t able to do much of anything there—he laid hands on a few sick people and healed them, that’s all. He couldn’t get over their stubbornness. He left and made a circuit of the other villages, teaching. Mark 6:1-6 MSG

    This passage was one we discussed in our Sunday services. I pastor a small congregation of Liberian refugees. Their hometown is nothing like mine. Our experiences vastly different. They left their hometown and fleed from an entire continent to a foreign land. I never left mine.

    Regardless of the differences, our hometowns have certain opinions and expectations of us. Because of who we were, and because of who we are now.

    The same was true for Jesus. He went back to Nazareth, his hometown. He spent time teaching about His Father, the path to righteousness, and what did his peers do? Remembered his prior occupation. Took note of his family history. Who he had been, not who he was. Who he had become.

    This kind of stuff is the way of life when you consider small towns. If Jesus, the Son of God was no stranger, certainly we are not either. It’s honestly pervasive throughout our human, earthly experience.

    We gossip. We talk about people we don’t even know based on something someone said about a person they “used” to know. Or were hurt by. We take that as the gospel and run with it, and we fail to look beyond.

    We only see what man sees.

    A “new” person, as one who has “become” someone else. Left our past mistakes behind, we are only remembered for our old life by those who knew us. Know our family. Our past. We are still reduced to our past mistakes. Things we did then that we no longer do. Those who knew us then, only remember our family legacy. We can’t seem to rise up and be accepted in our born place, because so many are holding on to a person we have given to Christ. A person transformed.

    A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family. Mark 6:4, NLT

    Sometimes we can’t transform and flourish in our own hometowns.

    Ever heard the phrase “the proof is in the pudding?” What this means, is that the proof of its true value. Its true effectiveness. Its true success. Its power is in “eating.” In tasting what was produced. Food aside, and inserting people-its in actually interacting. Knowing, and being around these people. Tasting that the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit is good. It’s not based on what you hear. What someone else’s opinion is, because not everyone will like pudding. And some will only choose to remember when it wasn’t so sweet.

    Opinion polls don’t count for much, do they? The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Luke 7:35,MSG

    You. You decide for yourself. Do those you knew then, but have chosen a different path now, do their actions reflect truth? Do they do what they say they will do? Do they keep promises? Are they known by their fruit…the ones God produces-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control?

    Are you still holding on to a person who has been transformed and no longer lives that way? Are you still holding onto bitterness and anger from some family history that has nothing to do with the person in front of you?

    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV

    That person has been made new, too. They just happen to live in a hometown that remembers their past. Hasn’t seen their transformation.

    Next time someone comes at you with a smear campaign. Examine the pudding. Taste it for yourself. If it’s good, ignore that voice that keeps telling you otherwise, and simply believe in what you know and what you see.

    And if the pudding is as bad as you were told. If patterns have evolved, never changed, still exist; and well the fruit that is still produced is a bit spoiled…then you can listen to that person who hasn’t let go. However, you don’t need to hold onto the hurt. Pray. Pray God changes the pattern. Pray God starts producing a different “pudding.”

    Examine the pudding. Choose your own path to determining if the fruit is good. And don’t let those wrongs jade your opinion of a person changed by God.

    Don’t allow a prophet, a new creation to be rejected in his own hometown.

  • What happened when I deleted Facebook

    If you have been around for a while, or ever seen my YouTube videos, you know I deleted Facebook about 8 or so months ago. I had my various reasons why; some that had to do with my overall well-being. Regardless of those reasons, stepping away from the ever-popular app has had benefits, and has been eye-opening.

    First, I am going to take a queue from Paul here and mention, “You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23. You may have no problem with Facebook. You may be able to scroll and it not affect you. Let me just say-it was not beneficial for me.

    Here are the various things that have been good for me. Things I learned and have gained since my Facebook exit:

    I didn’t miss the 100 or more obligatory Happy Birthday posts.

    No, I really didn’t. I had maybe 10 instead. All sent to the place where meaningful connections usually take place. To my actual phone number. I didn’t miss the birthday wishes that only came because an app reminded someone to do it. Instead, I enjoyed those from the people who actually remember my born day (Shout out to those who do!). Called. Sent meaningful, heartfelt wishes, and I love you’s. Simply because they know. They may need a calendar to tell them it’s my special day. But they don’t need a social media notification to do so.

    I began to engage in meaningful conversation.

    Think about it. How many of your conversations center around what you saw or read on Facebook. I’ll admit for a while I had a little bit of FOMO. “I didn’t see it, you know…deleted Facebook.” Thought I was missing the latest and greatest. But after a while, I noticed I engaged less with those who spent all their time trolling, and commenting on social media concerns, and more time having real-time, face-to-face conversations with people. Learned more about them, and who they were beyond their latest post.

    I turned off the “noise.”

    And for a while even the news. No, I didn’t bury my head in the sand, and pretend the world wasn’t still spinning in utter chaos…I just chose to engage in reputable sources. Those without comments from people arguing back and forth. I read and formed my own opinion, without all the “noise” in the comments section; or from the news feed convincing me how I should think.

    I turned off the “noise” in my own head.

    As I mentioned in my video about my decision, Facebook left me anxious. It provided me with a very negative mindset. It also allowed me to judge people in ways they may not be, simply because they posted or “liked” something. It left me in a constant state of comparison to others “highlights,” and left me feeling like my life was empty and meaningless. I questioned motives. I questioned intentions. It was bad for my headspace. For me. That’s my personal experience. Yours could be very different.

    I learned who was really down. Who would reach farther than the social media messenger function.

    Look…I’m just being real. I’ve had the same phone number for 16 plus years. It’s been inactive only when I’ve been out of the country, which was no more than 14 days in those last 16 years. Social media is not my only connection to the outside world. I have unlimited texts and phone calls, and I can count on my two hands how many have used this method to still keep in touch. Those would be the “loyal” circle. If social media kept you in the “circle,” and now you have cut that“circle” off…my dear, I’m fine with a smaller one. Harsh? Possibly, but it’s the straight up truth. Connections with people should go much deeper than a random Facebook comment, or “thumbs-up” here and there.

    I realized…lives are not often a true reflection of what is posted.

    Don’t let social media fool you. Since I have had more time to really talk outside of apps, I have learned that marriages that look the happiest aren’t. That the people that look their “best,” are struggling with their self-esteem. That the houses that look the “cleanest,” have dirty corners no one dares mention. The family on that dream vacation has been at each other’s throat the entire time. No one shares these moments. What you are seeing on Facebook is highly curated posts and updates only highlighting what is good. Stop comparing yourself to what in most cases is a false representation of the people behind the “happy” smiles. There is truth to that often referenced quote: “People are not always what they post to be.”

    I had more time to do things I had put off for so long.

    Without the desire to check on likes, statuses, messages, and post every single moment, I created space to update my “read” list (books that is). Write AND publish a devotional instead of a Facebook worthy post. Study for an exam I had to put off. Focus on my mental health. Actually enjoy family dinner without phones. I had time to declutter. Time with friends. Time with God first thing in the morning, and not my news feed. And none of this newfound time and connection involved scrolling through endless media chatter.

    I found solace in a more private life.

    A media hacking may have forced me into the need for privacy, but I found that when I shut off the app, my desire to post every single detail about my life also shut down. I still share. But my kids are no longer the subject. My grandchildren are for me (and their parents) to enjoy and raise. My private moments, are well…private. I now blog my deeper thoughts. Journal. Or just say nothing, and I realize that the more people know about you; know what you are doing, where you are going, who you are with, what cause you are supporting, what moves you are making; the more they can use against you. When I stopped posting every little thing, I learned to move and accomplish things with the support of my biggest (physically present) cheerleaders, and not the constant peering of a social media “crowd.”

    I don’t even miss it!

    Look. I get it. It’s hard to pull the plug. You want to keep your distant relatives posted with cute pics of your kids. You want to see what your “friends” from high school are up to. But could a photo sharing app accomplish the first? Could a birthday phone call do the trick? And about that high school acquaintance…well, is there a reason they need to keep up with you? Or are you secretly hoping your life looks better than theirs? Or even better than it did in high school?

    What now?

    Personally, I don’t miss it. One single bit. Really. Why? Because my life was full of negativity and uncertainty with it. Most especially my worth. Now? Well, my life is just full. And I don’t have to tell all my 500 plus “friends” it is so.

    Not ready to pull the plug completely yet? Try it for a month. Then tell me if your experience is anything like mine. I’d love to hear all about it…just not on Facebook, of course (see the Get Social Page for alternatives).

  • Grace for the broken

    Can a woman of God be broken by Him? Can a person who is faithful to Him struggle with doubts? With temptation?

    If your answer is no, you are mistaken.

    I’ll tell you why.

    Picture a woman. One who is sure of her purpose. She has put her trust in God, is sure of what He told her she was to do. She prays fervently for those He has placed in her path. She ministers to the “least of these.” She is faithful to His instructions, guidance, and ways.

    But then…doubt creeps in. The doubts of people. Those who doubt her abilities, giftedness, and vision. The doubts she has in herself-am I enough? Do I have what it takes? And the voices of the devil that open those doubts wide: “Nope. You are not good enough. You don’t have what they have. Your vision is all wrong. God isn’t answering your prayers.”

    Picture this. Constant for months. Disappointments. Changes not expected. The constant voice of the devil’s criticisms and lies.

    Once faithful. Now full of doubts. Until she breaks.

    What does this breaking look like?

    It’s slow. Not sudden. The doubts in her abilities, her talents, her purpose slowly turn into doubts of her worth. God’s love for her.

    She slowly forgets what He says about her, and who approved her, and seeks this from the world.

    From people. From the opinions of those people. Trusting feelings, perceptions, and the promises of a fallen world, and not Him. She is broken, because she forgets who made her worthy.

    I have always liked the song “Gracefully Broken.” There are several different versions, but my favorite is the one performed by Tasha Cobbs Leonard. In the opening commentary this is what she says about being broken, and being offered His grace:

    God will break you to position
    He will break you to promote you
    And break you to put you in your right place
    But when He breaks you He doesn’t hurt you,
    When He breaks you He doesn’t destroy you, He does it with; grace.

    God will let you become broken so He can provide you the way to His grace. He will allow you to be broken to show you how to climb back into His arms for safety. He will let the breaking occur so He can show you how to truly surrender to His will. He will break you to remind you of His love when you go looking elsewhere. He will allow our brokenness to happen so we can be put back together again with grace that provides deeper lessons, truths, understanding, and wisdom. Those that we could not learn and gain if we had not broken in tiny pieces.

    But as the song says…He never leaves us that way. He offers us His grace.

    To everyone broken, He offers us a way to put the pieces back together. In their right place. Grace to remember our worth again. Wisdom so we never allow the lies and noise of the world to cause us to forget it.

    He may allow our breaking, but He also offers His grace.

    Are you going to accept it, and allow Him to put your pieces back together, today?

    I do not own rights to video, music, or lyrics.

  • A dream renewed

    I frequently go through periods when I purge spaces in my home. I have a tendency to hold onto things, and the “stuff” accumulated around me can become overwhelming.

    In the purging of items like clothes, and only half-working appliances, I often find some reminders of who I was, or rather always had been. Pictures, cards, even old journal entries. Proof that I always enjoyed writing. That I always had something to say, and had found a way to do so.

    What I enjoy finding during these purge sessions is the evidence that God was always present, even if I was not actively seeking Him. Case in point:

    My mom found this and framed it for me. I then found it stashed away in some box. Forgotten. Until found again. I wrote this when I was 10, a kid who didn’t really have much use for God, but evidence that He was in pursuit long ago.

    A kid (with her nose in a book, surrounded by stuffed animals), a teen, and then an adult who processed life through writing.

    And then stopped for a time. 

    When I began 2021, I was in a state of transformation. Of finding my voice. Who I was. What I wanted to accomplish. What legacy I wanted to leave. Reflecting on past choices. Past hurts. Past triumphs. And dreams left to die.

    I went into 2021 intent on not letting any more dreams die, but also wanted to surrender to God’s voice telling me to move forward. Not going farther than He desired, and not moving ahead of Him. This required I actually believe that He loved me. That I was worthy of big dreams. That in itself was a process. Heart-wrenching, but soul saving. 

    Through the many conversations, angry prayers, and surrender (often surrendering over and over), God revealed the things I had been hiding, holding onto, and believing about His love, His promises, and His plans for me; calling me to a place where trust in people was challenged, and trust in Him became of utmost importance.

    He made me believe in my big dreams again.  

    One of those big dreams? Publish a book.

    Through the wrestling with who God made me to be, I found the voice I let lie dormant for too many years. I had to sift through the lies that society, the people around me, and Satan had me believing were the truth about me. And this devotional was the result. A labor of love from the One who loved me first. A reminder that I am more than just a face. Have a voice, that He desires be heard.

    One who doesn’t want another women or girl (or even a guy) questioning their worth; or letting their big dreams die.

    Perhaps you need to take a journey to finding who He meant for you to be, too!

    Click on the link below to purchase the Kindle version.

    Or purchase the paperback version using the link below.

About Me

I am January! Wife, mother, meemaw, pastor, and mental health provider who makes it through the day with my coffee, my journal, and my God. A simple human, navigating life through the messy and sometimes chaotic. All focused on Him.

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